The eight legged freak job
by ewab
Summary: Eliot has to leave for safety and goes for the most out of the way place he can think of, a Beringsea crabbing boat.  a Deadliest catch leverage crossover.
1. Chapter 1

Dear readers, first a little introduction.

I have a new favorite, and he isn't in deadliest catch. ( I know, hiding face in shame.) But I would like to write a story that has him on one of the boats. So this story is going to be a crossover between Leverage and Deadliest catch.

My new favorite is Eliot Spencer, played by Christian Kane. In my very personal opinion the guy is gorgeous, and he can sing. (check out his cover of fast car by tracy chapman on you tube, its amazing.)

Further this story is going to be a bit darker then my normal stories. And I am going to address some of the things in Deadliest catch that I don't like anymore. And while it might seem that I am captain bashing or camera crew bashing or even discovery channel hot shot bashing. That isn't my intention, or not totally. So please don't start flaming me over it before the story is out.

There will be quite a bit of humor in it, I am physically unable to write without some tongue in cheek it seems.

Disclaimer, Don't own Leverage, or Deadliest catch.

Chapter one.

It is to dark to see what is going on, but the sounds are unmistakable. The grunts, growls and sometimes whimpers. The sound of flesh hitting flesh and the crunch of bones breaking followed by a muffled scream.

After about ten minutes one of the fighters makes his way out of the dead ended alley limping and looking for support with his left hand against the dirty wall and dumpsters. His right hand is holding his side, a dark stain slowly spreading underneath it.

The dark haired man makes his way to one of the few still functioning phone booths and dails a number that he knows by heart. After a few rings the call is connected to voicemail. The fighter lets out a sigh he didn't know he was holding, thanking his lucky star for small favors. This way he can say what he wants and get out.

"I'm off, don't look for me. Take care of the others. And if you need a new hitter, Quinn is a good guy, he'll learn."

Letting the receiver drop Eliot stumbles his way out of the phone booth and makes his way to his nearest save house. He knew it would happen this way. one day his enemies would catch up with him. looks like this was that day, and to keep his team, his friends, his almost family safe he had to get the hell out of Dodge, or Boston.

Patching himself up as good as he can with only one really functional hand is hard. But he's been in tighter spots. So after half an hour he is ready to go. Ticket in hand, fake passport even though he is staying in the States, and a duffle that is almost too heavy to carry in his current condition. But by the time he gets where he is going it should be fine.

A few busted ribs, five stitches in his left side, a slight concussion and a sprained right wrist isn't too bad. Not considering who he just had to fight off.

So within an hour and a half Eliot Spenser no longer exists and Eliot Macintosh is boarding a plane to Anchorage Alaska, to start a new live somewhere in the wilds of Alaska.

"What was so important that I needed to cancel my hairdressers appointment? Nate, tell me. What? We just finished a job and you said yourself we could have a week off."

The last bit was in a definitely whiny voice, and the dark haired woman could whine with the best of them. And normally it had the desired effect on Nate. But not this time.

"Are you drunk, already?" Was her next question, knowing the answer before she ever asked.

"Yes I am, I have to be. And you will want to be too before this is over." Is all the answer the masterbrain gives before seeking solace in the bottom of his glass again.

Last one in is Parker, very boring thru the door this time, but she didn't us the key all of them have. She insists on doing it her own way, and that is nearly as fast as with a key.

"What's up, and where is Eliot?" she asks, and looking around for her friend the hitter, while plopping down on the couch in front of the six's big screens on the wall where Hardison is already waiting to get started.

After drowning the last amber drops from his glass and getting a refill Nate lets go a big sigh and gestures to the dark man with the remote in his hand. "Okay Hardison, run it."

Hardison pushes his remote and Eliot's voice is played in the room.

"I'm off, don't look for me. Take care of the others. And if you need a new hitter, Quinn is a good guy, he'll learn."

Sophie lets go of a shriek of shock and tears threaten, Parker looks as if somebody punched her in the guts, but she keeps her mouth shut. But anybody knowing her knows that her brains are going a million miles an hour coming up with plans to find and get her, their retrieval specialist.

So while Parker works in silence Sophie has to say it out loud.

"We are going to look for him and get him back, right? RIGHT?" the last Right everything but a question while staring at Nate who is now drinking straight from the bottle.

It is Hardison who replies.

"Of course we are, but we first have to know why he went 'off' as he put it. And I think I do."

Soon a whole bunch of pictures are displayed on the screens. Maps of half a dozen countries all over the world.

"These countries or powerful people in it all have a price on Eliot's head. The highest is from Myanmar. And that is also my main contestant. Why you ask?"

Nobody said anything but Hardison likes putting on a show.

"Myanmar wins because last night four 'gardeners' working for the Myanmar consulate got injured while trimming bushes here in Boston. Now I don't have to tell you that the Myanmar consulate isn't exactly around the corner of one of Eliot's safe houses or even in the Boston area. And if these guys where gardeners they had a very distinctive stance. Trust me on this one. These guys were not out there to work on greenery. The down side is that since Myanmar is being rebranded as a growth economy and liberal democracy entering the twenty first century under the rule of the rightfully elected president Thein Sein there is little the US government can do. The four gardeners have diplomatic immunity."

During the rebranding remark both Parker and Hardison threw a cold glare at their grafter.

"I don't have anything to do with rebranding Myanmar, I only told that presidents brother that to get in. Honest." Well if Sophie finds it necessary to go on the defensive than there really is something wrong. "And if I did it would have been a much better disguised election fraud. I would have thought up a better new name for the place, because really? The Republic of the Union of Myanmar so not catchy. Not the mention I would have milked that Aung San Suu Kyi thing much more."

Rolling his eyes Nate turns back to the screens. "Yeah, Okay, letting that one slide. We can't go steal Myanmar, even if the UN would thank us for it. Because to steal or liberate a country we need Eliot." Nate jumps in.

Putting the by now empty bottle down he goes for his plan. " Parker, check up on all of Eliot's places, there should be about four of them and find out what he took and where he went."

Parker is already on her way to the window but everybody hears her mutterings. "Seven, he as seven save houses in town, and two just outside. So I have to check nine houses. Sure Parker can do that. Never mind that Eliot is about as paranoid as I am." The rest of her mutterings are gone since she isn't wearing her earwig. Again.

"Hardison as soon as Parker has an identity get on it and find out where he is." Only Hardison is already at his computer checking on all of his know aliases of Eliot, even if he knows that all of them still have a few he doesn't know anything about. Especially Eliot who is the most lone wolf of all of them. But hey if anything iffy starts happening he will know where to look.

"Sophie find out everything you can about these gardeners. Hardison give her something to work with."

Without even looking up Hardison hold out a fresh printed page. "Here Sophie, I have doctored enough medical reports after somebody ran into Eliot to know what to look for."

After grabbing the piece of paper and thanking Hardison for his trouble Sophie stalks up to, and into Nate's personal bubble.

"And what will you be doing? Beside getting even more plastered that is?"

"I think and make the plan. But I can't do that without information. So go get it." Is Nate's snarky answer while looking thru his kitchen cabinets looking for more booze but only finding a week supply of gummy frogs, orange soda, cereal, fortune cookies and health food.

His kitchen really has been taken over by his team, and now his team is incomplete and that is tearing him apart. The only way he knows to numb the pain until he can start planning a rescue is by drowning it in whisky.

Sleeping on a plane while traveling coach isn't the best way to spend five hours. Sleeping on a plane while nursing some cracked ribs, a relocated habitually dislocating shoulder, a mild concussion, five stitches and a sprained wrist is even worse. Sleeping on a plane traveling coach with a rather overweight neighbor who keeps making her way into your space is terrible even when not injured. Trying to sleep on a plane with a kid in the seat behind you trying to dislodge you're kidney stones is nearly impossible without proper painkillers. So waking up when the plane started its descent into Seattle was like waking up to his favorite nightmare. The only saving grace is that the fat lady is in the toilet for a bit, if she had been leaning into Eliot when he woke up she might have been injured as well. And trying to disappear only to have an incident on your plane isn't a good thing. Not a good thing at all.

Using the time and space that he now has to stretch a bit Eliot makes himself as comfortable as he can, growling at the kid behind him when the kids mother isn't looking seems to have worked. Lowering the armrest again and planning on keeping it down this time so he won't be confronted with his neighbors fat rolls again. Feeling his chair move around he turns to face the oversized woman and gives her his best growl, hoping it works as well as with the kid behind him.

Waiting to be the last to leave the plane gives him some elbow room getting out. And he has two hours to waste anyway before he can get on his plane to Anchorage. Strolling around the terminal he gets himself some more painkillers, a bottle of water, a map and a guidebook about Alaska. Seems Hardison does have some use because normally all that information is provided by the teams resident geek.

No he isn't going to be thinking about his team. Not his team anymore. But when his brain keeps coming up with memories of Parker being her own brand of crazy, jumping of buildings into his arms without warning. Alex going on about geek power and his latest doodah that somehow ends up saving all their lives. The one time he made the mistake to accompany Sophie during one of her shopping expeditions and he ended up carrying all the bags and being coerced into a facial mani and pedi, he will never ever admit it even under torture, but he liked all the attention. And even Nate when he isn't too drunk to forget that others have feelings as well, with his weird plans and crazy hat collection. After kicking himself mentally for almost twenty minutes trying to stop the memories Eliot gives up and mopes around missing his team for the remaining time. Once he is in the air he will be starting his lone wolf routine again and adjust to thinking about nobody but number one, himself. Now he just gives in and misses his four almost family members, the only people who he trusts with his live. And who trust him with theirs, and that's why he has to leave without a trace, to keep them safe. Or at least safer then when he is around.

The plane ride to Anchorage is uneventful, no kidney kicking kids or fat ladies this time round but a bunch of guys who wouldn't seem out of place at a Hitter convention, if there ever was one. Plenty of muscle, tattoo's and scars. Seems going to Alaska to disappear is going to work, he wouldn't stand out over there. Or if he did it would be because he is to civilized. The guy sitting next to him seems nice enough, a honest man if Eliot ever saw one. Used to being in command but looking for something, and all of a sudden Sophie is back in his head, instructing him on how to recognize a mark and start a con without too much work ahead. For an easy cover look for a honest person who is looking for something. Then make sure you can provide what that person is looking for, get him or her attached and stick like glue. Instant cover because whoever is looking for you is looking for a lone wolf trying not to stick out. Not for two people, with one clearly honest.

After staring at Eliot for a bit and taking in the scars and bruises, and a few not so subtle hints that a conversation would be welcome the guy strikes up the conversation.

"Hey, I am Eric Nyhammer, have you done any fishing in your live?"

They shake hands and Eliot has trouble drowning out the Parker voice in his head asking if it is Eric with a C or with a K, because Erik with a K is evil. Or the other way round. So he just smiles and gives as honest an answer as he can, deciding for himself to just never ask Eric if his name is with a C or a K.

"Eliot Macintosh, and what kind of fishing are we talking about?"

Eric gives a small smile. "Crabbing actually, King crab on the Beringsea. I run a boat, and need an extra pair of hands."

"I once saw a program about that, seems brutal, so sounds like fun."Is all Eliot has to say.

"Great, stick with me when we reach Anchorage and you'll be in Dutch and getting ready to go fishing within a week. Welcome aboard Eliot."

And with that the deal is done. Seems like Eliot has found a place to lay low.

They talk for about half an hour about what the job really is instead of the hype the show is. When Eliot finally gives in to his headache again and goes back to sleep. His new boss following the good example within minutes. Seems like there are more similarities between fishermen and fighters than an abundance of scars, or a high pain threshold, like the art of sleeping where ever and whenever you have a chance. And waking up at the least sign of danger or change. Because by the time the plane starts to decent pretty much everybody is awake and getting ready move before the lights go on and the captain announces the start of the decent. The subtle change of engine roar was enough to wake up everybody, Eliot wasn't even the only one with a bit of a violent reaction. Luckily no bones broken just a few curses and "Hey man watch it." Or the more common "What the F***."

Strangely enough the disembarking is extraordinary organized, no shuffling or pushing. Everybody staying seated until the buckle up sign is turned off and the stairs are in place. Then everybody is slowly but in order taking their carry on luggage from the overhead compartments and leaving in single file.

But the second they are in the airport all signs of well behavior are gone. Some take off running for their connection flight. Others hurry to the desks of the other aviation companies looking for tickets.

Eliot stays with Eric and ends up at a desk where a very bored looking young man is reading a magazine that would be more in character for his mother, or maybe even his grandmother. After waiting for a couple of seconds Eric scraps his throat to get this young man's attention. Seems Eric isn't the most patient person in the world, not that Eliot is complaining. He would have gotten the kids attention by grabbing the magazine, crumpling it while growling and then throwing it in the kids face. Eric is clearly much kinder.

" Is the nine o'clock to Dutch going today? And is there room for one more on board?"

The kid sits up a bit and starts typing on his computer. After about five minutes and a dozen big sighs he has an answer. "It is going but delayed by half an hour. And there are three seats left." And with that the kid starts on his magazine again.

Eliot had enough, doing what he wanted to do since he got here, he grabs the magazine and doing that thing with his eyes that scares people while staring at the kid he crumples the magazine and then carefully puts the ball on the kids desk while leaning over the desk into the kids space.

"Well I would like one of those seats. NOW."

Gulping the kid flies into action and within two minutes Eliot has his boarding pass and a window seat. Always works.

Taking his boarding pass and walking along Eric, Eliot has to know. He remembered now, Eric with a C is kind and nice, while Erik with a K is evil.

"By the way is your name with a C or a K?"

Eric is clearly off kilter after the casual display of violence and now the weird questions. So he answers on autopilot. "C." And keeps walking to the boarding gate wondering who or what he hired for on his boat. But at the same time, this guy would fit right in with the rest of his former juvenile delinquent crew.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to That Perfume and Price for the feedback. I appreciate it.

Chapter two.

Eric took Eliot to the waiting room for the flight to Dutch Harbor and after getting something to drink and eat the two settled in to wait.

"Look, I know the guy said the delay was thirty minutes but with flights to Dutch you never ever know. For all I know it can indeed be thirty minutes but also thirty hours. Only to get half way and then turn back because the weather in Dutch is to bad to land. So relax, don't worry and go with the flow."

And with that Eric settles back and nods of to sleep again, knowing the flight attendants will wake him up when it is time to board. Only Eliot has had about enough sleep, his headache is gone, just a bit of a cottony feeling left. His ribs still hurt whenever he breathes but he can live with that. And his left wrist is properly wrapped up so not to bad either. So he goes for one of his favorite hobby's that saved his life more often than not. He goes people watching and this waiting room has a nice collection.

There are a few younger guys all hyped up to get going, also hyped up on coke or other illegal stuff. Two guys who are clearly just out of lockup and probably outrunning their parole officer. And most are just old-timers like Eric, who can sleep anywhere anytime, taking every chance they get to make sure they can make it thru the season. Some are talking quietly between each other ignoring the youngsters bouncing off the walls. A small group of three is sitting to Eliot's left and when they notice that Eliot isn't sleeping they are more than willing to include him in their little group.

"You're going on the Rolo?" The one with the black goatee and Spock ears asks with a friendly enough smile. Eliot totally blames Hardison for the fact that he knows what Spock ears are.

"Yeah, looks that way." He manages to growl out, not that his angry or upset with these guys, but Hardison, Spock ears? Really? Even after he decided he isn't going to think of them anymore his team keeps creeping into his mind.

"First trip out?" Must be the goatee's younger brother there is a distinct resemblance going on with the eyes.

"Yeah."

"Good luck with it. Do you have all your gear?" Number three has the most stunning blue eyes and looks like to sweet a guy to be a fisherman.

"Thanks, and no not yet. Don't know what I need."

The goatee speaks up again. "There is a store in Dutch, they can get you anything you need, its pricy but better than not having it or stuff getting lost in transport. And you're a pretty average size so that shouldn't be a problem. I'm Josh Harris by the way. This is my annoying baby brother Jake. And that misfit is Jake as well." Pointing at the blue eyed guy, who gives a shy smile and extends a hand. "Jake Anderson, nice to meet you."

"Thanks for the tip and I'm Eliot, Eliot Macintosh." Shaking hands with the three men Eliot starts to feel better, seems these fishermen are more accepting than most normal people he ever met.

After the introductions conversations runs smoothly, ranging from what kind of gear you need on board to what are the best boats to work on. To the downsides of working with family, the downsides to not working with family, girlfriends, sisters, rehab, jail, knifes, deadly situations, injuries and even fights they have been in. Eliot once again finds himself wondering how it is possible to have a for him normal conversation or almost normal, with a bunch of normal guys. Because these are clearly mostly law abiding citizens, not thief's, hitter's, hacker's or grifter's. But he still finds himself bragging about the more acceptable scars. You know the kind you get when hit by a car or falling of a horse into barbed wire, not the ones you get from getting shot by a sniper at the Chinese border, or fighting the Butcher of Kiev. The four pass a pleasant hour and a half that way when the flight attendants come in to say the plane is ready for boarding. Leaving Eliot speechless again for about five seconds.

"Why are they wearing parka's?"

Because Really, what the F***, since when do flight attendants wear parka's instead of those nice skimpy dresses that Parker always rocks.

Jake H just grins. "You'll find out the minute you get out of here. And in Dutch it's even colder. Do you know how to handle the cold? If not leave now you still can."

Eliot glares at the kid. "I can handle cold alright."

-Flashback-Flashback-Flashback-

Aerial view of a mediaeval oriental looking keep or stronghold set overlooking a snowy mountain pass surrounded by higher mountains, well above the tree line. Slowly the view gets closer showing half a dozen cages hanging from the battements, swinging in the freezing snow driving gale. One of the cages swings less than the other five.

Getting even closer, Eliot is sitting huddled together with his back to the wind in the cage that isn't swinging as much. He is shivering, his lips are blue and his teeth chatter so hard you can almost hear it. He isn't wearing a coat or shoes, has his sweater pulled over his legs and tries to keep his toes from freezing by rubbing them. Looks like he has been in the cage for some time already because a generous amount of snow is covering his head and not melting.

- End Flashback-End Flashback-End Flashback-

"Yeah, I can handle cold just fine." Eliot grinds between his teeth again at the now slightly intimidated looking Jake Harris.

Following the flight attendant the small group makes its way outside and well it seems like the kid was right, it is cold early November in Anchorage. And the walk to the small two engine plane that is going to take him and his now colleague's to Dutch harbor is pretty far away on the runway without one of those nice warm busses to take them there. So the parka is explained. Eliot is still less cold than anytime during those first dreadful forty-eight hours in a cage at the Myanmar Chinese border so he goes for the plane in a brisk walk just as the others, and within minutes everybody is in place and getting ready for the last bit of the journey.

Eliot ended up next to Josh this time instead of Eric, seems the captains prefer to sit together near the tail of the plane.

"So first time fishing, and straight away on a good boat. Eric is a cool captain, not some ball buster like some others I know of. You're lucky. I am going to the Time Bandit this year. Used to fish with my dad but he passed away little under two years ago. Still miss him though, but that is how I got to be a crab fisherman. How about you, why are you going to a frozen hell like the Beringsea in winter?"

Well Eliot is bright enough to realize that the truth isn't going to work. Sure, I am being chased by the secret service of a third world country and they want my head on a silver platter for one of their crime lords slash politicians, yeah that would go down real well. So he goes for a different version of the truth, because that is one thing he learned over the years working with Sophie. Lying is easier if it stays close to the truth, especially if you're planning to keep up the lie over al prolonged period of time.

"Lost my job and I was planning to just go and see if there was anything at the west coast, but then I ran into Eric and he offered me a job. So here I am."

After that the two keep up the chitchat over everything ranging from the right kind of gear to get, how many glove liners and such, to the lousy economy that has so many people without jobs.

Five hours later the plane starts the decent to Dutch and it seems luck is on their side. The first landing attempt is a go.

Getting off the plane Eliot notices that it is even colder than in Anchorage, or maybe not colder but a different kind of cold, more windy and wet. Pulling up his coat to keep his ears covered he makes his way after Eric to the waiting car while carrying his duffle. Sure his ribs still hurt but the time resting has made it more bearable and his duffle isn't too heavy yet.

A ten minute drive later they are at a mostly white boat, the Rollo. Again following Eric, Eliot makes his way on board and gets a fast tour of the inside, where he is going to be sleeping and where he can stow his gear. Then it is time for some introductions to the rest of the crew. Two youngsters that like to goof around. And an older relaxed guy who introduces himself as the cook.

Only soon Eric goes into Captain mode.

"Okay everybody, first things first, get the pots ready, check them out and repair the netting where necessary, and new ties on all the doors. Eliot, get to the store and get your gear but I expect you back here within the hour to start working. The others will show you what to do."

Making his way to the car Eliot asks directions from one of the goofy youngsters, Corry something or other. "So where is this store?"

The kid points to the town. "First just follow the road to town, then take the second on your left. The store is the biggest building on the right. But don't go too far, the really big building is the hotel and if you get there you're too far, its somewhere in between." This is said with lots of hand waving and pointing. Seems the kid talks more with his hands than his mouth, and that is saying something.

Getting in the car and looking for the ignition Eliot noticed that the car didn't have a ignition anymore. Seems the car was jury-rigged to be jump started with a screwdriver that was in the glove department. As was a pair of ratty looking gloves. That must be a first. Gloves in the glove department and a car that is supposed to be stolen on a regular basis. How neat, now if only nobody steals it while he is in the shop getting his gear.

Eliot finds the store and parks the car in front of the window so he can keep an eye on it. Opening the door there is an old-fashioned jingle from the bell over the door. And a friendly looking older lady is clearly checking him out and not in a purely professional fashion.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for your feedback Hoellenwauwau. Deadliest catch is a reality series on discovery channel. The new season will be starting in April in the USA. In other countries I don't know.

Also sorry for the shorter chapters but I have to make a choice, regular short chapters or less frequent longer ones. And I go for short but once a week minimum.

Also English isn't my native language, so any mistakes blame spell check.

And no I don't own anything Leverage or Deadliest catch related, except the DVD's

Chapter three

"Hello dear, how can I help you?"

Eliot decides that his first impression of older lady was an understatement. She is old as in ancient, probably closer to ninety then eighty but a spry eighty something. Thin as a stick and tiny but with clear eyes and also more than willing to enjoy male company. So he turns on the southern charm and slips into his best southern drawl.

"I need everything to work on a crab boat ma'am. Can you help me with that?"

An appreciative avuncular eye is run over his body from top to toe and even if he is wearing some pretty bulky winter gear he starts to feels naked. The old lady turns around mumbling to herself while opening and closing some drawers. Only to dive up behind her counter holding two plastic wrapped packets.

"Oh I can help you with that alright. Now first you need some good underwear. And that has to be formfitting, so try this on and then let me see."

Taking the long legged underpants and disappearing in the changing room Eliot considers not showing, but then decides that it might work for him to get the old lady on his side. She seems like one of those old bats that knows everything about everybody on the island. And that might be a very good safety net. He would then know whenever somebody strange came onto the island as soon as he got to the store, making it his first stop after each trip, might work everybody needs new glove liners after a trip. And if he gave her the right 'false' information about himself, she would undoubtedly make sure that his chosen story went all over the place before nightfall.

So after four minutes Eliot is sporting some nice tight off white long legged thermal underwear in front of an old lady, doing his best to look shy or self conscious. Not something he is good at because, hey he knows he's hot.

The old lady is tutting a bit while making a motion for Eliot to spin around, her eyes lingering in all the right places.

"Yeah, this should do, now for thermal shirts. Try this one." Holding out a long sleeved off white shirt with a V neckline.

Knowing that rising his arms over his head is going to hurt his ribs no matter where he does it and the extra elbow room in the middle of the store is just going to make it easier than in the cramped changing booth so Eliot just takes the hem of his T shirt and pulls it over his head. Completely forgetting that his ribs don't just hurt but are still black and blue as well, not to mention the stitches he still has. Or he forgot until he heard the sharp intake of breath from the old lady.

"O dear, o dear o dear. Where have you been working before here? That looks bad, must have been a bad captain to send you away hurt as you are."

Grinning into his shirt Eliot realizes he has his cover story.

"Not his fault ma'am, he didn't have a boat anymore for me to work on."

"You poor thing, the boat sunk? I didn't hear about any boats sinking the last two weeks?"

Doing his best to look sad Eliot did the performance of a lifetime. Or so it felt, Sophie would have been proud of him.

"No the Bank took it, the owner couldn't pay the mortgage anymore, so he had to let everybody go. And there were no other jobs at the east coast so I headed west, heard there was work up in Alaska in the fishing industry. Lucky to get on a good boat, I was more than willing to work on the slime line somewhere for a while first."

At the same time trying very hard to remember if he told anybody that he never fished before in his live or if he left it up in the air. Not easy when recovering from a slight concussion, remembering things. So he just hopes he left it up in the air. If he didn't all he can do then is hope Eric and the three J's have a spotty memory as well.

Now he has the right size for his underwear he stocks up on it, eight sets in total. Three pair of Grundens raingear in bright colors, two pairs of boots real ultra tuffs that the old lady said are the best, two ear muffs, three beanies, some ski goggles against the stinging jellyfish. And last but not least twelve pairs of boot and glove liners. Because he remembered what that blue eyed J told him. Those things go fast and everybody wants to steal the nice clean ones.

About an hour and two and a half thousand dollar later Eliot is back the boat weight down with all his shopping, hoping to be able to stash it all somewhere on the Rollo.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the reviews, I do love them

I was on a roll last week so a longer chapter than average. So enjoy, and please leave a review.

Chapter 4

At the same time in the boardroom of the Deadliest Catch studio's Thom Beers is having a meeting. Or a meeting, it is more like old-fashioned school, everybody sitting in rows facing the front of the class where Thom Beers is pacing like a caged bear in front of six's whiteboards. Clear and empty whiteboards at the moment, but everybody knows what to expect. Mister Beers is about to go in full blown lecture mode giving instructions about what the story lines for the coming season should be.

So much for real live or reality TV. It might have been during the first one or two seasons but since then the on board producers have been instructed to 'direct' some story's on each boat.

The cameramen/ producers are not happy with the way things are going but hey if they want to work they have to do it, and if they don't then Thom will find guys who are even less scrupulous about it.

Ten minutes after the scheduled starting time everybody is in place and the grumbling has died down to a minimum. It is hard to get thirty competitive Alpha males in one room sitting still and listening, especially when they are all wired up and ready to go to work, dreading the maybe twelve maybe three days trip out to Dutch harbor.

But Thom Beers is ready to start.

"Okay gentlemen, now first off. You" Pointing to the on deck camera man of the Wizard last season. "You did a great job last year. Getting Keith to fly off the handle on camera the way he did, only this year try to get an even bigger wedge between him and his brother and the rest of the deck, if you can get a real mutiny it would be best." The guy just hangs his head and tries to not see all the accusatory glances from his colleague's.

But Thom isn't ready with his compliments yet, he did follow that course in motivational speaking last month and it is showing. "And also you." Pointing now to one of the Cornelia Marie camera men. "That hiding a stash of dope and getting Derick to blame Jake was genius."

The guy is shaking his head in NO, NO I didn't. And luckily for him the rest already knew that Derick hid the stash himself to further the story. They are not even to angry with Derick about it. Because hey the guy did get a new wraparound porch on his house, plus matching garage, courtesy of Thom Beers and associates.

Now he had the positive reinforcement done it is time to get to the knitty gritty, or so he feels it.

"You two." Pointing to the Seabrook camera crew. It might have a much bigger impact if he actually remembered anybody's name, but that is clearly too much work even if one of the guys has been working for him since the start of the series.

"You two, last season was pathetic, no drama what so ever beside that thingy with Whipper and that was accidental, make sure the greenhorn quits mid season like the one on did to Wild Bill on the Kodiak, quitting after just one day. Or get the hydraulics malfunctioning like on the Rambling rose. Stuff onions down the exhaust like on the Time Bandit, but do something. Get the boring guy to pull a prank on one of the other boats, just fishing and catching is boring. That doesn't get viewers and no viewers means no advertisement and no advertisements mean no money, and no money means no paycheck, get it? And that goes for you lot as well. Get me the stories I want and need, the ones that sell."

The room looks more like a classroom now then at the start of the meeting, with everybody cowering in their seats trying to avoid the full blast of Thom Beers his anger.

Thom Beers in the mean time is quite pleased with his motivational speaking. First give some positive reinforcement, then get the rest motivated to perform as well. Now it is time for the important part of the meeting, the instructions.

He heads for whiteboard furthest to the left and flips it over.

On top it says. Wizard. And underneath it are pictures of the know crew with the responding name and a short description of character and what his storyline is supposed to be.

First up is Keith Coburn the captain. Cranky, cantankerous, short fuse, family man. And his storyline is simple, the guy everybody loves to hate.

Next Monte Coburn, deck boss relieve captain. Slightly more mellow than is brother. Little know about his private life. His storyline. Get him to open up over his private life. Make him fight with his brother. ( the two going on that boat heave a sigh of relieve at that one, should be easy). Get him to mutiny ( that is going to be a whole lot harder if not impossible).

Lenny Lekanoff, deckhand and mechanic. Easy going, teddy bear. Storyline, get him to talk about his daughter, show his soft side, get him to fix something Edgar style.

Larry Sopher, deck hand and relieve deck boss, quite strong type. Storyline just get him to talk. Make him quit smoking. ( the camera crew is starting to panic. Getting any crabber to stop smoking is like pulling teeth without anesthetic, your own teeth that is.)

Freddy Maugatai deck hand. Tribal, ( everybody is cringing on that one) Teddy bear. Storyline get him to go tribal with cod blood or something disgusting like that. (cringing again).

Lynn Guitard deck hand. Kid next door, not to smart. Storyline. Get him to fight with Keith (again easy), make him fuck up ( again easy) make him look stupid ( again easy)

Greenhorn ? no picture with that one just a blank spot with a big question mark. Storyline, get him or them to bitch and moan about everything. ( that should be easy as well)

Overall storyline, get Keith to get mad at camera crew. Preferably physical aggression. ( that is also easy but far less fun, the guy is big and strong.)

Overall the two going onto the Wizard are pretty happy with their storylines, nothing to outrages beside getting Monte to mutiny against his brother. And that can be done with some creative editing.

Next up is the Northwestern. Thom flips the board and all it looks basically the same except for one extra line underneath the name.

The floating rehab. Making a disgusted face while pointing to the offending words Thom Beers turns to the room again. "Yeah, that is going to be a problem, this boat is a floating Rehab institution. Four of the seven guys on board are strictly on the wagon and keeping each other on there. That is boring, with a capital B. Edgar was fun when he was using, now he is a whining whimp. The two Jakes might get by on looks alone maybe Jake Harris might even appeal to the older female population with his 'I am fighting an addiction crap', but Matt isn't grumpy when clean, and he is the second guy who everybody loves to hate. So get at least one of them but better all of them popping pills again. And that is your job this trip out, push pills, coke, booze whatever it takes." Thom is glaring daggers at the two who are going to be on the Northwestern. Both veterans who have three or more trips under their belt.

"No way, I am not a drugs dealer." Is Mike's reaction. It is his fourth trip on the Northwestern and he likes these guys, most of the time at least.

"Fine, then don't, I'll get somebody else for on there, and you're fired don't think you'll ever work for discovery again." Is Thom's reaction. "Now get out, and remember you have signed a confidentiality agreement, if you tell anybody anything we will sue the crap out of you."

Mike gets up and leaves, he is one of the lucky ones that has a different day job he can go back to. As free climbing instructor in Norway. Thom doesn't have a lot of sway in Norway. If Mike was stuck to the States he would be in big trouble because Thom or the money behind Thom have a finger in most pie's. And he isn't shy to use that finger to stir the pot and then brag about it.

Thom is slightly put out about this hitch in his speech so he skips most of the Northwestern board and goes for the next one.

Time Bandit.

"Okay, this one is a problem as well, it went from the party boat to a boring boat. Four family members on one boat. And no fights to speak of, no really good pranks, nobody complaining. The last greenhorn was a total dud as well, Eddie jr. was about as boring as his dad is. So storyline for this boat. Get rid of Eddie sr. and get a new face in there that is good looking enough to get the ladies interested in the boat again. Because John is getting to old, Scotty isn't a looker and Mike is to clearly married and happy about that. And yeah I know the show is for the men, but let's be honest, lots of viewers are female and they are the ones who buy stuff for the house. If they want some eye candy let's give them some eye candy. So Caucasian, no body from the ring of fire or another earth hotspot but good old fashioned American, preferably southern to draw those states in, there are too many Eskimo's, Hawaiians, Samoans, former Europeans and stuff around anyway."

Everybody is scooting down further on the very uncomfortable plastic chairs in disgust, but they need the money. Some if not most are thinking about giving up filming and starting a career in the fishing industry, or undertaker, that might be a fun job. Right? The other reason most are staying is because they know that if they go like Mike, the replacement is going to be worse. Like a real drugs pusher, or somebody who would cut a hydraulics line just for a good shot.

After the other three boats are also discussed, or disgussed depending on your view Thom gets down to other business.

"So I am not going to say who is on what boat at this moment. You will hear at the last moment. So you won't be rigging your own boat. That's also to make it more interesting. Now get packing the plane leaves in the morning. Anybody who doesn't want to come, please stay away."

And with that Thom Beers makes his way out of the meeting room into the smaller antechamber, where he collapse in one of the overstuffed chairs near the window. With shaking hands he pours a generous tumbler with Whisky, washing it down in one gulp.

The sound of a single person clapping comes from next to the door. Turning his head in a flash Thom Beers expression changes from despair to pure hatred.

The clapping lady looks amazing, long long legs in a very miniature dress in fire engine red, with fake boobs nearly tumbling out the top. "That was quite a performance mister Beers, I will tell my employers you did as asked." Slowly the lady makes her way to the still shaking Thom Beers and sinks on her knees in front of him sliding her manicured hands over his knees to his hips.

"You did very well and now deserve a reward."

Thom Beers springs up pushing her on her rear with a bump in his haste to get away from this Lorelei.

Once she is alone in the room the dark haired beauty takes her phone and dials a number. The phone call is clearly expected because it rings only ones. "He did it, get Charlie ready." Is all she says. Snapping the phone shut she makes her way to the chair Thom was in just seconds before, she sinks in takes he glass he used and licks around the rim with a delighted moan.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five.

It is close to five in the morning when Parker finally makes her way to the office or Nate's apartment, Eliot's houses are spread out over town, a lot. So when she finally comes back to the loft she isn't in the best of moods. Her feet hurt, she is hungry and no chance of a home cooked breakfast just cereal and to top it all off Eliot or one of his neighbors at his out of town house has horses and she hates horses. They made noise at her and followed her when she walked past their field or paddock or however it is called in the dark. Uch why didn't the silly animals sleep at night. Munching on some cereal straight from the box she parks herself in her favorite spot on the couch looking at the six's blank screens on the wall waiting for the others to arrive or wake up. Enjoying the light slowly coming back into the world.

Nate is the next one down around eight o clock, dressed in just his boxers, light blue ones with skulls and bones on it, and scratching his head and other places, to her interested gaze.

"Hey Nate. Itchy much? Like the boxers."

Nate jumps at the sudden voice, when he sees her face sticking up from behind the couch he turns red and rushes back up the stairs to his room for some more clothes. Muttering under his breath how much he hates having his house as their headquarters.

Next down is Sophie looking as stunning as usual, even if she is wearing the same dress as yesterday with her hair in slight disarray and a minimum of makeup. A few minutes after Sophie Nate is down again, now fully dressed and he starts rumbling through the kitchen in order to cook himself and now it seems Sophie and Parker some breakfast. Hardison is the last to arrive, weight down with his daily supply of orange soda and gummy frogs. Starting up his computer he goes ahead not waiting for the masterbrain or the grifter who are still playing house in the kitchen.

"Okay Mama, talk to me, what did you find out?"

Hanging upside down on the couch Parker lists off her discovery's. "Eliot doesn't like cushions or pillows, he has four bikes and over ten cars, all big and two nasty horses, unless those are his neighbors."

"Great Parker, but anything useable, like a name on a passport that is missing?" Hardison is trying not to lose his patience with the sometimes weird thief that has trouble discerning between important and not important details. And he is good at it normally, but not right now, not before he is on his second gallon of orange soda and with one of the team missing and in possible danger.

"Oh right. In the house nearest to the attack a few things seemed to be missing, winter gear, a duffel and all the paperwork he has over there, including a passport with Eliot as a first name, but I don't remember the last name, it was something I know but I don't remember." Sitting up right way up she throws a nasty look in the direction of Nate and Sophie who are just coming out of the kitchen.

"I would know if I was allowed to nose around everybody's places, but no somebody had to lay down the 'law' about that." And she ones again did it with the right hand signals.

Not ruffled in the least Nate sits down with his plate with his breakfast on his lap. Sophie takes her customary place on the couch next to a still upset Parker.

"Okay, so he is still Eliot something or other. I checked all the CTTV footage of the airport's international terminals and he didn't go abroad, so we know he is still in the states. Or that he left the States by another airport. So that isn't much yet, but it could be? Right?" Leave it to Alec to see the bright side.

"Sophie, what did you find out?" Nate asks turning to his grifter. He already knows but the others don't.

"Nothing much. Those gardeners know how to keep quiet. And nobody from the embassy even tried to get into contact with them. They are going to be stuck in the hospital for a while though, seems Eliot did some real reconstruction work on them."

Everybody is watching Nate in anticipation while he is munching on his toast with eggs easy over and an Irished coffee.

"So? Now what?" Parker is know for a lot of things, but patience isn't one of them while not on a job.

"So. Now we first make sure that it is safe for Eliot to come back once we find him. Hardison, you work on all the official threats, like the Myanmar, Iran and North Korean governments. Parker go find adequate dirt on some of the overseas threat's that are less official like drug and warlords. Sophie how's your Curling?" And with that Nate walks off as is his habit only this time to the kitchen to put his dirty plate in the dishwasher. Like everybody else he is missing their hitter.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six.

With some help Eliot managed to get all his newly bought gear stuffed somewhere accessible without it being in the way. He owed Corey a beer later for his help and the two made their way back on shore to continue mending the netting on the pots. Corey showed Eliot how to make the knots and started on his own pot. The other youngster Matthew is on top of the stack of pots hooking up pots to the crane and the older guy Brian managing the hydraulic crane to put the pots either on the boat once Matthew on the stack gave him a signal the pot was sound, or on the ground for Corey and Eliot to mend the netting or for Corey to do some welding.

They kept this up as long as it was light, but around three it became almost too dark to work safely but until they got the order they kept going or so was Corey's answer to Eliot's questioning their safety. Just before Eliot decided that it was insane to keep going because let's be honest somebody was going to get hurt this way, a very old car, like a real antique, came squealing over the docks at a very low speed for that much noise and with even more squealing it came to a stop next to Eliot. He was ready for anything when he saw the old lady from the store get out.

"Hello dear, I just thought to bring you some goodies so you can bribe your collogues if necessary. You are hurt and if you feed them they will take care of you a bit better."

And out of the back of her car came three boxes with, well things Eliot swore to never eat in his life. Two boxes of cans of cookie dough in different flavors and the last box was bottles instant pancake mix's, the add water and shake kind. The arrival of the friendly lady seemed like the signal to stop working and Corey and Matthew where right there to take a good look at the boxes. Corey even going so far as to pop open one of the cookie dough cans, pulling a generous part loose and stuffing the raw dough in his mouth right there and then.

"That is disgusting, at least wash your hands first." Was Matthew's reaction who then tried to grab the open can after taking off his gloves. Corey feeling that his treat was under threat went off running with the other hot on his heels.

Shaking his head at the antics of his now crewmates Eliot thanked the friendly old-timer and took the remainder into safety. But no way he was going to eat any of it if he could help it in any way, seems that crab fishermen had a Parker diet. Or they did on this boat.

Dinner on the boat later that night made that abundantly clear. A Parker diet it was, or worse because even Parker had learned to eat vegetables by now, something these guys clearly didn't like. There wasn't one recognizable food item on the table. Sitting down next to Eric Eliot found himself stabbing at the 'food' with barely disguised look of disgust on his face.

"What is this?"

Grinning Eric held up a fork with a golden brown colored item with black rims that was drooping around his fork and took a good look. "Seems like oven French fries to me. And food is good while we are in port, out on sea it only gets worse, believe me on that one."

After sniffing the very processed French fries, trying very hard to recognize anything of a potato in it and failing miserably Eliot takes a deep breath and stuffs the food in his mouth chewing fanatically to suppress his gag reflex.

"Worst thing you ever had to eat in your life?" Is Corey's grinning respons.

"Nope not really." Seems Eliot is adjusting and speaking with his mouth full

-flash back-flashback-flashback-

Steaming hot jungle day, water dripping from the leaves all around. A much younger and skinny Eliot is stuck in a cage starving. He hasn't had anything to eat in over a week. Within reach of him outside the cage are the remains of a huge silverback gorilla that one of the rebels shot to sell its hands as ashtrays and its head as a paperweight. The remains itself are far too heavy to pull into the cage and the smell of the animal at this distance is already overwhelming even closer would be suffocating. But the maggots that are crawling all over the beast are well within reach and edible, sort of.

After whipping the wriggling off the off white creature with its black head Eliot bites down on it, chewing like crazy in order to suppress his gag reflex and to make sure it is dead. Then he swallows feeling the thing still wriggling in his stomach. He knows it isn't real, the thing is dead, but still. He sits still for a while to let his stomach settle.

Five minutes later he picks the next maggot of the gorilla remains and chomps down again.

-end flashback-end flashback-end flashback-

"Close to being the most disgusting thing ever, but no, not quite." Is his response once he has swallowed.

After the slightly burned dinner and raw cookie dough from the can for dessert, Corey and Matthew are stuck with galley duty. Brian is all ready to set out for the bar for a well deserved night on the town, or what there is as far as town is concerned in Unalaska.

"You coming Mac?" He asks while putting on his winter coat and swaddling a scarf around his neck.

Shaking his head Eliot declines. "No I'm for my bunk. This work isn't what I am used to."

Grumbling under his breath about youngsters not having any kind of stamina Brian climbs on the dock and hotwires one of the cars for a round along the other boats looking for drinking buddies.

"Eliot. Are you hurt, beside the black eye?" Eric now wants to know. Because if his new deckhand is more seriously injured than first thought he needs a new deckhand, like real fast.

"Nothing too bad captain, just a few cracked ribs, give me a week and I'll be as good as new. But my bunk does sound better right now than a bar crawl."

Shepherding his youngsters from the boat Eric decides that having somebody stay on board might not be a bad idea anyway. "Fine but don't go on deck on your own and no smoking in the bunks, we don't want a fire." And with that the last three drinking buddies make their way to the next car idling on the dock. Seems they have little Jake H as a driver.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7.

After really cleaning the galley and taking stock of the foods supplies and slightly freaking out because of it, or more correctly the lack thereof. There really wasn't any real food on board except tea and coffee. Everything else was instant or microwave stuff. Eliot started to make a shopping list for the next day. He wasn't going to work on this boat if the food was that bad. When his list was as finished as he could get it he took a nice hot shower, plenty of water on board now, once they were out at sea it would be different and debated whether he should save or start growing a full beard to block the cold.

Deciding to shave now and let everything grow while fishing he stood in front of the mirror with his razor in his hand and after a couple of seconds more of internal debate even his goatee went. For probably the first time in five years he was clean shaven. Rubbing his hand over his now bare chin he gave his reflection a big grin. Looking good even if he said so himself. After putting on a pair of dark blue sweats and a white T shirt he did a last round of the insides of the boat and then turned in. Only to be startled awake, to his feeling just minutes after dozing off, by a loud sound on deck.

Grabbing the emergency knife from under his pillow Eliot makes his way to the galley only to first hear and then see his now slightly worse for wear fishing buddies stumble their way inside and to their bunks. Eric is shushing them but to little avail, not that Eric is in any better shape, just a bit better in handling his liquor. Corey and Matthew are impersonating some pop star or other singing a song about whisky and long black dresses, insisting they both are singing the same song but that is open for debate. Keeping the knife hidden Eliot heads back to his bunk in the stateroom he shares with Brian. Brian, luckily for him, is also interested in sleeping by now and not singing so soon a snoring duet is heard coming from stateroom number two. Stateroom number three is still having a singing bee.

Eric shakes his head before turning in himself in the captains stateroom, those two youngsters are not going to be happy with him in the morning, but work they will.

At seven o clock Eliot is bright awake and ready to start a new day. Sure he can function on just 90 minutes a night, but he prefers four hours when wounded and recovering. So over eight hours is extreme luxury to him. and now he is very much awake and ready for a real breakfast. Only that isn't going to happen on this boat right now. So after getting dressed he makes his way on to the dock and looks for a car that isn't covered in vomit and does have some petrol in the tank. The best candidate is a beat up formally bright red pickup truck. Getting it started is easy, the last user left a screwdriver ready to jumpstart the thing.

Finding the only grocery store in town is also easy and he parks his beaten up pickup next to another one that is about just as bad, joining four fancy soccer mom people carriers that are also parked in the parking lot.

Making his way inside with two carts, he has a very extensive list of groceries, the first thing he sees are four other crab fishermen with four carts brimming with food making their way to the checkout line. One of the carts is full of only eggs, can you say high cholesterol anyone?

Within half an hour Eliot has his carts full finding everything he was looking for except for eggs. Seems the four other guys bought every egg in town.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

Waiting at the cash register was interesting to say the least. The three soccermoms Dutch harbor style where bitching at the checkout clerk about the same four dudes that Eliot would like to hit himself. Namely the egg snatchers.

"What the beeb did those beeb idiots think they are going to beeb do with all those beeb eggs. The only beeb reason I am not beeb going over to that beeb boat is because the beeb idiot Captain is a beeb head."

Very interesting language skills these Dutch Harbor soccer moms have. The last time Eliot heard language like that was from a British Taliban prisoner of war in an Pakistani prison. He wasn't a fellow prisoner for a change but there to retrieve the greatgrandkid of some loaded Indian guy, only the greatgrandkid was still inside his granddaughter. He managed to get the girl out while still pregnant and he even made sure she had a chance to get away from her grandfather with her kid. But only after he got his payday.

But back to the interesting discussion, hey he can't help hearing it, he is just waiting in line. The very verbal blond soccer mom left in a huff. And as it normally goes the other two start gossiping about her instantly.

"The only beeb reason she isn't going to see beeb Johnathan is because John wouldn't touch her with a beeb ten feet beeb pole even if his beeb life depended on it." The dark haired one says.

"I know, but she beeb really beeb beeb him that last time."

Or no review that one, beeb fucked him that last time, she meant is as the actual act this time. Not a curse. Very confusing.

And on that bombshell the two gossiping ladies leave the store and Eliot can finally pay for his groceries, only to be surprised again.

"Hello dear, are you that friendly young man that started on the Rollo? My sister told me all about you, you poor thing. Getting laid of like that. Hope you do better here."

Turning on the charm Eliot gives her his trademark smile and takes her right hand and kisses it while maintaining eye contact.

"Well beauty runs in the family I see. Give her my regards." Leaving the younger sister blushing but more than willing to speed up his checkout.

"Did you get everything you need dear?"

"No, I also wanted eggs. But it seems those guys bought them all."

"Yes that would be the Time Bandit crew, but you could always go and ask for some eggs, they just don't think things thru all that well but they are not really malicious."

Flashing the trademark smile again Eliot gets his bags and leaves with a wink and a thanks.

After putting his groceries in the car, he drives to the big mostly black boat that is adorned with the skull and bones and only docked three boats away from the Rollo. Great pirates. Parking the car and making sure it is also on the hand break, not that he expects it to work, he sees a familiar Spock eared face on deck of the Time Bandit.

"Ahoy Time Bandit. Hey Josh, permission to come aboard?"

"Hey Eliot, sure, haven't seen you around, you're still on the Rollo?"

Eliot climbs on board with a, not needed but friendly, helping hand from Josh.

"Yeah, Eric is a good guy, but I have another question, seems you bought all the eggs in town, and I need two dozen for breakfast, any chance I can buy some?"

Josh grins and holler's down the deck to a guy in a cowboy hat. "Hey Andy, can we spare two dozen eggs for the Rollo? He does ask politely."

The older man called Andy looks Eliot over after getting closer. "Andy Hillstrand nice to meet you." Shaking hands Eliot takes stock, another alpha male used to being in control, there sure a lot of those in this town. Almost worse than in an army made of guns for hire.

After this fast assessment Eliot gives Andy a friendly smile and not takes the challenge of who has the strongest grip. "Nice to meet you too, I'm Eliot Macintosh from the Rollo, and I was wondering if I could buy some eggs, because there isn't an egg to be had in town after your little shopping expedition."

Andy and Josh need some time to recoup from the laughter. But then Andy gives Josh the order to get two dozen eggs and to go with the new guy (Eliot realizes that is him) and give him a hand.

Ten minutes later Josh and Eliot are in the Rollo's galley and while Eliot is whisking eggs into a pancake batter Josh is peeling and cutting apple's. So it is a very domestic but slightly weird picture that Eric walks into when he goes looking for his first cup of tea that morning.


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks for the reviews. They make me write faster.

Chapter 9.

Eric is leaning against the counter while blowing steam from his nice hot cup of herbal tea. The herbal part being on his wife's insistence, chamomile mostly with some mint and other stuff, because of stomach trouble and high blood pressure the last time he was home. His hangover isn't too bad, and now he is starting to really wake up he also starts to realize that the domestic picture in front of him is even weirder then he first thought. Because, what the fuck is Josh Harris doing on his boat?

"Hey Josh, not that I mind, but aren't you now working on the Time Bandit? Or are you planning to jump ship to us?"

Josh stops peeling the apple he is holding to look at Eric, only to get slapped on his hand with a dripping spatula. "Keep peeling if you want any pancakes." Eliot growls and Eliot is happy he isn't stuck on a boat with this Harris kid, or he can totally see him replacing his standard, dammit Hardison for a dammit Harris.

After glaring at Eliot for a few seconds Josh stars peeling again and Eliot answers Eric's question. "The Time Bandit captain send Josh along with the eggs, they had bought all of them, so I went to ask for some and it seemed the only way they would give them was if I made them a batch of pancakes as well. So Josh is here to make sure the pancakes get to the Time Bandit, so I am making him work for them." The last part with his trademark eat shit grin, you know the one that in the day made grown man soil themselves.

Now Eric is interested. "Is the Time Bandit going to egg the Northwestern again? Or somebody else, not us I hope, I just gotten a new paintjob."

Making sure to keep working on his apple's Josh just grins before answering. "Northwestern alright, have to give my kid brother a good farewell right? Can't have the kid thinking he can out prank me."

"Well egging his new boss his boat would be a good start of the season for the kid, his crewmates will really love him after that." Is all Eric has to say about it. He attention is now other ways engaged, Eliot has just turned out the first batch of pancakes. And these are heavenly. So the captain is enjoying his food and herbal tea while softly moaning in delight.

Josh has confiscated the other pancake and the apple's are forgotten for now. leaving Eliot to wonder about something. "yeah, I remember now, you telling me on the plane, but why are you on different boats again?"

Josh has to swallow first before he can answer that one. "Because however much I love my brother, I can't stand to work with him and he feels the same way about me. You sure you're okay? Because we both told you that on the plane as well."

"I wasn't totally there on the flight in. A hard enough blow to the head will do that to you." Is Eliot's response while he is flipping two pancakes again. "Now keep going on those apple's, pancakes with apple and cinnamon are also great."

And with a Yes Boss Josh starts cutting up the apple's again. Eric now wants to know for sure though. "Eliot, you sure you don't have any warrants out? Or an ex that is going to give us trouble while you're here?"

Leaving Eliot floundering for a few seconds, what to tell? Only to come up with a perfect, because kinda provable, story that doesn't bite any of the others.

"Well would have preferred not to tell this, but I used to be a baseball player. Pro even for a bit, in Japan. And in Japan there is the Yacuza, and those guys like to put money on anything. The team I was playing for was doing good too good actually, and as the catcher I was pretty important, so they wanted me to throw the champion match at the end of the season. And while I had agreed to, I wouldn't have made it to the final if I didn't agree. I didn't do so, so after that I had to disappear quickly. But seems like they found me on the east coast. Let's say they weren't very happy with me, and they wanted me to be unhappy as well."

"You played pro baseball?" Is the only question Josh and Eric have. Yeah Eliot is going to like these fishermen, they are awesome in discerning between the important stuff and the filling. Crazy Yacuza, murder attempts, sure whatever, but Baseball, now your talking.

"Yeah. Look." And with that he looks up the fake add that Hardison made for Roy Chappell on You Tube. Soon the psychedelic add is running and both Josh and Eric are watching mesmerized, playing it again and again for almost 15 minutes when Eliot has had enough and closes the laptop with a snap. Only too late, Josh already send the You Tube address to his own Smartphone.

Half an hour later Josh is on his way back to the Time Bandit with an impressive pile of pancakes and a promise from Eric and Eliot to come and party at the bar that night before the camera crews start taking over the place. Now this is going to be fun, Josh has blackmail material.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

By the time everybody was ready to head to the bar Eliot would have gladly killed his crewmates and captain, Hardison too by the way if he could only reach him, that urge was almost strong enough to fly back to Boston. Because it somehow was all Hardison's age of the geek fault, he made the stupid add and went for the most annoying stuck in your head and never leaving again piece of sound imaginable.

As soon as Brian woke up from the smell of freshly baked pancakes Eric or Josh started playing the add again, Eliot isn't sure who to blame for that one, because he was making pancakes. When Matthew and Corey finally decide to join the breakfast party the thing gets even more airtime. Mending the pots is also accompanied by that most annoying sound, when after half an hour or so even some of the closer docked other boats start complaining about the noise, the effect is to only have Eric turn the bloody thing up even more. And inside the torture continues. And that is why Hardison deserves to die. He made the stupid thing and choose the god awful music to go with it.

After a very quick lunch, No way that Eliot is hanging around his crewmates when they are annoying him to death. Eric also wants to get the mending and most of the supplies done by nightfall. The guys are all working on the docks mending pots again when eight brand new looking black navigators with blacked out windows pull up to some of the boats. Noticing the spider look a likes Eliot shoulders Corey and flips his head in the direction of the four guys crawling all over the Time Bandit installing the contents of six big black boxes.

"What is going on over there? FBI undercover?" with a big grin but slightly nervous on the inside. Eliot is just glad that the noise stopped for a bit, now his headache has a chance to recede a bit.

"No those are the Deadliest Catch crew. They're going to be in the way for two days here on the docks and then on those boats for the rest of the season. We had them one of the first years. But Eric didn't like the extracurricular things he had to do for a next season, so he quite. Eric isn't a yeller or a fighter, and those guys like drama queens."

It is clear that Corey isn't a deadliest catch fan.

"Are they going to be filming in the bar this evening?" Eliot asks with a pensive expression. Hiding in plain sight okay, but going on a TV show is overdoing it.

"You bet, their staying at the hotel and the bar is the only place to be at night. They'll even be filming. But mostly the captains of the fab five, not us grunts on other boats. We're not important enough."

"Good."

Now it's Corey's turn to tease. "What the big pro baseball player doesn't like camera's?"

"Not since a little run in with the Yacuza." Is the growled response.

After that they go back to work again. By sundown all the pots are mended and ready to go on board the next morning. The bait herring is standing by on the dock waiting to be loaded, the tanks are full of diesel fuel, the food supplies are more abundant than ever before thanks to Eliot and every personal item is stashed way. So Eric is in a good mood, one more day of work getting the pots and bait on board and the Rollo should be ready to head out late Thursday night but before Friday morning, like almost every other boat in the fleet. Now it is time to party.

Cramming the whole Rollo crew in a beaten up Fiat 500. Eric floors it to the bar. Entering Eliot is ready to strangle the Spock eared kid that has the wall sized screen playing a very annoying psychedelic add. In front of it are four more than drunk crabbers imitating the thing, swaying on the music and holding out their beers in the end. To make it even worse the thing is on constant replay and everybody recognizes him immediately.

After he manages to curb his first impulse of strangling Josh, Eliot tries to get out, but his four crewmates are standing behind him blocking the way, laughing their pants off. Since fighting his way out isn't an option Eliot concedes defeat and laughs, claps Josh on the shoulder, it might be a bit harder than socially acceptable, but Josh doesn't seem to mind. Andy, one of the Time Bandit captains now joins the group and buys a round for his own and the Rollo crew. After that another crabber comes Eliot's way and buys him and his crewmembers a drink.

So it seems the prank isn't a total disaster, he is getting absolutely hammered on it for free. Sure tomorrow is going to be a disaster with the hangover from hell, but for probably the first time in a decade Eliot feels save enough to get drunk, really really drunk.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

Waking up was never fun, but this morning he really felt it. He is getting old and drinking this much isn't doing his liver any favors. Thom Beers stretched, grunted and made his way to the fanatically ringing phone that he left in his jeans pocket last night. And his jeans are hanging over a chair in the bathroom, the tiled and therefore echoing bathroom. That's what you get for drinking after a successful meeting. Finally reaching his jeans after nearly slipping and falling on his ass over the always there puddle near the shower he is holding his jeans upside down until the ringing monster falls out. his mind started wandering again. Do phone's still ring or do you call it beeb nowadays? These are the normal ramblings for Thom Beers after waking up at six in the morning not his favorite time or way to wake up.

Picking the phone from the floor, turning it on and holding it front of his face Thom starts grumbling something resembling Hello in the annoying thing as he is slowly starting to wake up. But the first three words are enough to have him wide awake, namely. "We got him."

"Who Him." he can hardly contain his excitement. Seems his two least bothered by scruples producers found the perfect victim to transplant to the Time Bandit.

"Well the one to put on the Time Bandit, we send you a link, take a look."

After some fiddling Thom managed to watch the you tube clip of Eliot in all his psychedelic glory.

"Okay he looks fine, but that is only one part of it, is he going to bring a story?"

"Hell yeah, he's a former washed out baseball player, but like all these guys he likes to drink and fight. And he has a beef with Josh Harris. So games are on." Is the snickering response. Remember they are camera guys and par time drug pushers, not grifters or hitters. So reading people isn't their strongest talent.

"Say what? He fought with Josh Harris?" Thom is nearly peeing himself he is so happy, this guy could be the next guy everybody loves to hate. Or he could become the White Knight of the Time Bandit.

"No they didn't fight, but he was going to, because Josh got this clip on to the big screen in the bar, only when this Eliot guy realized that it meant free drinks he preferred getting drunk to fighting. But it is clear that Josh is going over boundaries with this guy and this guy knows how to hit. Even if it is only at a ball with a baseball bat. And he has never been on a boat in Alaska. So he is about as green as a greenhorn can get."

"Sounds like a winner indeed. Now if only he is a whiner. When are you going to make the switch, today is Thursday right? So it will have to be done before midnight, all the boats will be leaving before Friday."

The two innocent angels at the other end of the line are grinning. "Leave that to us, but both he and Eddie will wake up on the wrong boat with the hangover from hell tomorrow afternoon."

"Fine, just fine. Now don't tell me anything more about that. As for your assignment after this little thing, Jake you're on the Northwestern. Let's see how Sig handles three Jake's on the same boat, and don't accept a nickname. Davy you're on the Seabrooke. And I don't care how you do it. But I want fights on that boat. Lots and lots of fights."

After hanging up Thom makes his way to the kitchen to get some coffee. This is going to be an epic Kingcrab season.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Waking up was as dreadful as he anticipated. Hangover from hell, or somewhere close. But fortunately he wasn't the only one, so nobody wanted an elaborate breakfast or to play youtube clips. Breakfast was a quiet affair on almost every boat. Some cereal crunched away dry straight from the box and then the last push to get ready to head out just before midnight that night. Or stay until just after midnight tomorrow. Because nobody leaves port on a Friday, seems to be one of those old superstitions that all sailors go by. Except the navy, Eliot can vouch for that one.

Work was quiet as well, no blaring sound systems for a change. But work was fast, at a fevered pace even. So much to do and so little time to do it in.

Everybody worked thru after dark, all the big sodium lights glaring in the dark making the docks almost lighter than during the overcast day. But around ten one by one the crews where done and headed for the bar. By half past ten the docks where empty, everybody was getting a warm goodbye in the bar. Or everybody, two dark figures in hoodies kept slipping from Time Bandit to Rollo and back, loaded down with gear on each trip for about twenty minutes. But nobody saw them or paid any attention if they did see them.

Then the two dark clad figures made their way to the bar and joined the crowd inside, blending in perfectly.

On the big screen the now familiar you tube clip was playing on occasion, in between Rihanna and Kate Perry clips. Even Brittany Spears slave for you showed up once or twice that evening. But the only time Bieber showed up he was booed and the screen nearly got broken by a beer bottle.

Eliot sat at a table with his own crew starting on his second mineral water of the evening when he noticed something off with the taste, it was salty. A very distinctive salty taste even.

Spitting the offending drink out he stood up and started to make his way to Eric, who was at the bar. Only he never made it that far. The world started spinning and two guys grabbed his elbows dragging him from the bar into the cold night air. But even the freezing cold wasn't enough to revive Eliot enough to start fighting. Cursing in his head about letting his guard down for even a second Eliot's consciousness slips even further and he blacks out.

Only to wake up again in relatively comfortable warm soft bed and unbound as far as he can detect without moving too much. But with a killer headache and somebody shaking him by the shoulders. Lashing out to his assailant before even opening his eyes, Eliot heard the satisfying grunt of a hit that went home. The assault stopped only to be followed by an impressive string of curses in a familiar voice. Finally opening his eyes to the bright light Eliot saw the Spock eared kid leaning against the farthest wall holding his side, still cursing up a storm.

"What the Beeb was that you beeping idiot. Are you trying to beebing kill me? What the beeb are you doing on this boat anyway?"

Looking around him Eliot realizes that indeed he is on the wrong boat. "Where am I, and how the beeb did I get here?"

Yeah the short week in Dutch has rubbed off on Eliot and he is cursing now too.

Still scowling and holding his sore ribs Josh Harris is friendly enough to answer. "You're on the Time Bandit and we are about two hours out. The Rollo is about an hour ahead of us. Where's Eddie? You're in his bunk?"

Half jumping half rolling out of his bunk Eliot manages to get on his feet. Josh tries to lend a hand but is shaken off with a growled. "Dammit Harris." Yeah it happened. Dammit Harris is going to be a staple now.

Finding himself in only his underwear Eliot starts opening the drawer underneath his bunk only to find all his gear in there. "What the fuck. Is this some sort of prank?" Josh looks over Eliot's shoulder, his eyes grow even larger and he starts shaking his head No NO. "No, no prank by us that's for sure, we would never get rid of Eddie. And the Rollo would never dump you here like this."

And Josh looks so innocent that Eliot believes that Josh at least isn't in on the Roffies that knocked him out. Grabbing the first pair of sweats that come to hand Eliot makes his way to the bridge while pulling them on.

On the bridge he pretty much attacks Andy as the first authority figure he sees. Pinning him to the windows by his neck and getting up in his face Eliot does that thing with his eyes that makes grown mercenaries pee themselves.

"Did you drug me? Did you? Really? Roeffies in my water? Did you think I wouldn't taste it? Did you expect me to stay out for the entire night?"

Not giving Andy any time or even air to answer and hardly noticing Johnathan or Mike's attempt's to get him off their buddy. Only when Josh started screaming his name right in his ear did Eliot react, like he would react to Hardison. By slightly letting go and tuning in to listen to the person he has to protect.

"Dammit Harris, can't you see I'm bussy, What?"

Using the air he finally is getting Andy starts answering the big question. "We didn't do anything, somebody stole our Eddie and put you here. We didn't drug anybody. We never would, and roeffies are dangerous. Dammit Mac, let me go."

All the time Josh is nodding and agreeing with Andy. Suddenly deflating Eliot lets Andy go and sinks down on the floor, his head is killing him, he is thirsty as a dried out sponge and only now does it hit him, he is out at sea with a bunch of complete strangers, except from the kid and the kid doesn't really have any say in the matter. Nobody else knows where he is. And Eddie is missing, probably also drugged and kidnapped like him.

But nobody seems to be inclined to throw him overboard, they actually are all standing by looking kind of helpless. Even Andy, while still massaging his throat doesn't seem to angry, but more confused.

"What do you mean drugged?" Is all Johnathan gets out.

Standing up again and grabbing the first drink he sees, what turns out to be a cold cup of highly sugared coffee, Eliot makes his way to the radio.

"Get the Rollo on, Eddie should be on there, and he probably got more rohipnol into his system then I did, and he was drinking, so they have to check up on him, see if he is still breathing and make sure he wakes up and drinks enough water. If they can't wake him up by eight in the morning they should get him medivaced, fast."

Pushing Eliot out of the way and settling down in his chair Johnathan radio's the Rollo to follow Eliot's advise.

Eliot in the mean time is turning slightly green. Josh and Mike notice and take him down to the galley to get him something better than cold coffee. So when Andy makes his way down fifteen minutes later with the welcome news that Eddie is indeed on the Rollo and that Eric and Brian are taking good care of him, Eliot is sitting on the bench with a bottle of Gatorade in one hand and a sandwich in the other. Looking and feeling much better than before.

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	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13.

Eliot looks relaxed now he heard that the other person in this weird body swap is save on the Rollo. He knows that the guys he know on that boat are taking good care of Eddie. His safety isn't all that sure it seems.

So Andy can't help but wonder why Eliot looks so relaxed. He is the smallest guy on board. Sure he is burlier build then Josh, but all the others have height and weight on him. Mike is a giant in comparison. And Mike is at this moment glaring daggers at the relaxed lounging Eliot. So are Neil, Scotty and Travis. Josh seems to be the only one who isn't openly hostile.

But Andy knows well enough that this isn't going to make a save or fun working environment.

"Guy's. It seems Eliot here is going to replace Eddie, but not by his own volition. So play nice. Did you really get drugged?"

"Yep, and I'm pretty sure it were two of those camera guys that have been running wild in Dutch harbor. Not these two but two others. They smelled of that oil you all use." With a careless glance to the two producers that where filming it all. "That stuff has a very distinctive smell."

Frankie, the new guy, seems unfazed and just keeps filming, but Brad who was also on the Time Bandit during last year's opi season starts fidgeting, drawing the attention from everybody. Now the dagger glares are aimed at him, Josh, Andy and Eliot joining in at the staring contest. Brad it seems is either a very foolish or avery brave man, because many better men have peed themselves when on the receiving end of the Eliot dagger glare.

"So Brad, you know something do you? Start talking, fast." Is Travis his order. And to put some weight behind his words Travis leans into Brad and pretty much starts panting in his neck.

"The boss, Thom Beers ordered it. We didn't want to do it, so he got two lowlifes who would. He wanted more action on this boat. And he wanted more action on other boats as well, we sniffed out the one on the Seabrooke, don't know who the other one is. So we made sure the one on the Seabrooke got lost and that boat now has only one producer on board. We didn't know before who they were. Honest." Well Brad is talking fast alright, so fast it is almost shorthand.

Six pair of eyebrows went up, Brad was talking alright but not making any kind of sense.

"Okay, start again. Who is this Thom character?" Having most experience in getting information out of an unwilling informant Eliot takes charge. Simple questions to start with, even if he doesn't know the answers the others do, so that way he will recognize a lie. He doesn't even take the trouble to sit up. Travis is doing the intimidating part just fine, and he still has an headache, nasty stuff that rohipnol.

After half an hour of constant questions Eliot finally feels like he knows the truth, but his head is by now spinning and he sees three of everything. The rest of the crew also understand what has been going on at the highest level of Discovery channel, for a change.

Andy heads up to his brother to get on the radio to the Seabrooke to warn Scot Campbell about probably hidden stashes of drugs that are not from his own crew but put there by the two would be camera men. And the other boats about a more than normally annoying cameraman that might be out to sabotage the boat or the crew.

Eliot in the mean time is vaguely wondering when his hidden weapons are going to be discovered by Eddie or the rest of the crew. That really is the only thing he is going to miss over on this boat, his knives.

While Andy is upstairs explaining what's been going on to his brother, Sig, Keith, Bill, Elliott Neese and Scot Campbell, after telling the other captains to kick the camera crew from the wheelhouse and turnoff the camera's and sound systems. Eliot and the rest of the guys are going back to bed to sleep some more. Soon enough the real work starts, setting and pulling pots in all weather and at all hours of the day. The trip out is for resting and getting ready not for working out hostile takeover plots.

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	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14.

Sophie was not amused to say the least. First the stupid question if she knew how to play curling. As if? And now she is stuck on a frozen loch somewhere in northern Scotland in the middle of November. Nate is his normal annoying secretive self again, not telling a thing and just dumping her over here on this loch where a bunch of old guys are shuffling with big stones on the ice.

Only good thing was that she was able to do some shopping on the way in. She just loves Iceland, they don't mind fur.

Nate isn't complaining at all, Sophie looks amazing as always in a faux fur silver fox coat with wide sleeves that she is now using to keep her hands warm. Her trademark skin tight pantaloons in silver and what looks like silver fox Uggs. He didn't even know that Uggs where made in faux fur silver fox. But only in that weird sheepskin. Sure he is a bit nervous about the damage that little shopping spree did on his credit card. He knows that Sophie didn't charge all this to her own card, and he his was missing during the layover in Reykjavik at the same time as Sophie when he went to get a drink. Once in the plane it was back in his pocket. That's what you get for loving a grifter and pickpocket.

Nate spots the guy he is looking for and slides his way over to the guy that looks like a silver fox himself.

"Hello Jimmy, how are you doing?"

"Nathan, laddie, what a joy to see you, and who is this vision with you?"

Grinning from ear to ear Nate lets go of Sophie's elbow, that he had hold off to keep her up. And gives the Silver fox a big male hug with lots of shoulder clapping and drops the bombshell he just knows will blow her away. Turning to put a hand on Sophie her shoulder to keep her involved he is grinning even more.

"Jimmy meet Sophie Devereaux, my fiancé."

And indeed Sophie is for probably the first time in her life completely speechless.

"Nathan you lucky dog. And Sophie Devereaux at the moment, is it? Enchanted for sure. But I am pretty sure I used to know you as Laura when you were a wee little one." The Silver fox responds while taking Sophie's hand and pressing a very chivalrous kiss into her palm. Leaving her speechless for the second time within a minute. Who is this guy?

"But Nathan I know you, you're not here to introduce your fiancé, so what is it you want?"

"Well you know I am working with a crew now. And one of them has gone Awol, Eliot Spencer, so who is after him that we don't know of at the moment? We've got taps on Burma, North Korea and most of the South American cartels, even the Columbians. And we are going to put a plug on the triads as well for a bit. But Europe and former USSR are harder for us ."

The Silver Fox, Jimmy for friends, thinks for a bit and moves a bit more to the bare trees lining the frozen lake isolating himself and Nate from the rest of his curling team. Whispering while watching the sky he gives his answer.

"Do you just want to know who? Or also how to get those idiots off his back. I can give you three of the biggest players right now. And I will even have them taken out if you can just get me the slightest of reasons."

Going into his evil master brain mode Nathan nods. The two shake hands and the deal is done.

"Works for me Jimmy, just let me know who and where, I will have my computer guy send you a message when we have enough dirt planted."

Taking Sophie by her elbow again Nate steers her back to the car, holding open the door for her and helping her in.

Before Nate is settled in himself Sophie is digging in. "What was that? Really what was that all about, who is this guy, and fiancé? Since when? You do know you're supposed to ask the lady first? Or did you do it this way with Maggie as well? And how can that guy promise to take anybody out?"

Starting the car Nate makes his way down the very narrow country road driving backwards because he couldn't turn anywhere. Only when he has managed to turn the car around at the corner underneath the hill does he acknowledge that she asked any questions.

"That was a legend in person. Surely you know you're classics?" And Nate does a very bad impression. "Bond, James Bond. That is who he is, or he is the secret agent James Bond is based on, his name, as far as I know is Jimmy Brown, but I do know three other names for him as well and he answers to all of them. Even now that he has been retired for over two decades he can still steer MI6 and Scotland yard in any direction he wants. I am pretty sure he can even order Sterling around if he wants too. So if he says he can get three officially untouchable bad guys for us if only we can get some kind of proof then it works for me."

At that moment his cell phone beebed with a new message. It where the three names and pictures of some pretty ugly characters. One a close relative of an old friend located in Kiev, and it isn't the pastry chef.

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	15. Chapter 15

**Please don't hate me, but in my opinion, Parker is a lot less innocent then she seems in some ways. Let's just say, her internal compass works in a different way than most. **

Chapter 15.

After almost a week off the grid Parker entered the Leverage office, or she tried to enter it. The lock wasn't a problem, less than five seconds without a key and that after not sleeping for three days straight. Only the door still refused to open for more than three or four inches. Throwing her whole bodyweight against the door it slowly opened for a few more inches and finally she was able to squeeze thru with her bag, it would have been easier without the bag of course, but she needed her things. When she finally makes her way into the room it is to nearly fall over one of the many computers. All over the place where computers, and not the nice shiny new ones. But big bulky monsters. Wondering what happened she just drops her bag on the first piece of bare floor and picks her way to the couch as the only save, computer free, place she can see. It is also where she heard more then saw Hardison working away behind his "normal" laptop.

"Hey Hardison, what is going on over here?"

Only Hardison is so involved with his computer that Parker's presence doesn't register. At all.

"Ha, Take that you sadistical freak. Now where did your money go, HA. I just know you're not going to take that without a fight. Hope you still have you're meat cleavers sharpened."

Judging by the mountain of empty soda bottles, gummyfrogs and takeout containers strewn across the floor around his workplace Hardison has been behind his computer nonstop for the entire week that Nate, Sophie and Parker were gone. And he did some good work, but nothing resembling homework or personal hygiene.

Half of criminal Asia is in a panic, either missing money or having much too much with a clear trail of where it came from. And all with a little hidden message in Eliot's name saying "Stay away from me or worse will happen." Family's that normally work together or at least don't fight are now at each other's throats or they will be within days. Much too busy to go after Eliot or anybody else.

But Parker doesn't like being ignored or stumbling over bulky computers.

"HARDISON, listen to me." Slamming his laptop closed with a bang, almost catching Hardison's fingers between the thing. "What is going on, why are there computers everywhere? And why does it stink in here?"

Holding one of the more moldy takeout containers between her thumb and forefinger with a disgusted expression. Cereal is so much easier.

Snapping out of his concentration and finally taking stock of his surroundings for the first time in three days or so Hardison realizes Parker for the first time. He looks like death warmed over, about three times at a low setting. Dark rings under his eyes and stubble all over his face. He also is suffering from a serious acne breakout again.

"Hey mama, your back, great, how did it go? And this?" Slight mania would be the correct term to describe Hardison at this moment. Or suffering from a serious cornsirup overload. Making a sweeping motion with his left hand indicating the room, while opening his laptop with his right one grinning like a maniac. "This is the best deal I made in ten years. Fifty original mac's for a steal, only downside is I had to take them right away. So I put them up here for a bit Nate isn't around anyway. And I don't expect him back until Wednesday."

Dropping the takeout container so it joins it's friends on the floor Parker looks around. "Mac's?"

"Macintosh computers, the first computer that was for home use. The forerunner of the I-Pad and…." Is as far as he gets.

All of a sudden Parker starts jumping up and down shrieking with joy.

"What's gotten into you this time Parker?"

Grabbing Hardison suddenly in a big and rather fierce hug nearly suffocating him, not that he is complaining or trying to push her away just enjoying it. Only he still doesn't understand all the excitement.

"Macintosh that is it, that is Eliot's name." Parker's voice is reaching dog whistle levels but Hardison understand all of a sudden. Dropping Parker without ceremony he jumps to his laptop again and starts typing. Within fifteen minutes the last location of Eliot is known. Dutch harbor Alaska of all places.

Also because the computer is now finally on a normal browser it starts pinging that one of Eliot's aliases had lots of attention lately. Opening it both Parker and Hardison go off in an apoplexy of laughter. Because it is the youtube video of Roy Chappell with his energy drink. The best part are all the comments on the video from both crabbers and the ladies in Dutch. Seems Eliot made quite an impression.

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	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16.

After about ten minutes or so Parker was the first one to come back to reality. The smell emanating from Hardison was just too bad to ignore, especially now he is moving and heating up. Pushing him from the couch with a disgusted face, crinkling her nose in that, according to Hardison, cute bunny rabbit way she says.

"You smell bad, go clean up."

Sitting on the floor Hardison is torn between getting angry for being pushed off the couch and told he stinks, or laughing some more at Parker's cute bunny face. Only to come to the conclusion that she is absolutely right when he gets an unexpected whiff of his own body odor. He does indeed stink, only now what?

"I don't have time to go home, shower and change. There is work to be done. We found Eliot. By the way, how did you're part go?"

Parker is suddenly grinning from ear to ear with her eyes shining, living up to her reputation of being insane. "It should be hitting the news about now. But first you shower. Steal some of Nate's things." And somehow she got hold of the remote again. Amazing how fast that girl can move when it is about stealing things.

Grumbling under his breath about unfair things and hating having to wear too short sweats showing his ankles Hardison makes his way upstairs to take his shower while using another man's personal hygiene products and clothes. In the mean time Parker indulges in one of her rare cleaning sprees. Normally that is Eliot his thing, but now she is the one who goes all over the living room/ office while holding a garbage bag and unceremoniously dumping all the junk Hardison collected in it. Even the empty and not completely empty soda bottles. Because she knows he never brings them back to the store anyway.

By the time Hardison is back downstairs wearing a pair of Nate's, indeed slightly to short sweats and a T shirt without any kind of print, Parker is parked in front of the six's big screens again munching on cereal, while watching six's different news programs until the thing she is waiting for comes up. Switching all screens to that feed she relaxes back grinning again.

Settling in beside her and also grabbing a hand full of cereal Hardison is amazed about the always so innocent looking thief beside him. Because the mayhem she created in just three or four days is amazing. Her exploits made the news alright. The images are disconcerting in their bad quality, clearly made by cell phone. But still, scary stuff.

"This is breaking news, so there isn't much footage about it yet. But it seems an all out drugs war has broken out in South America, crossing the borders of Mexico. There have been car explosions in Mexico, Columbia, Nicaragua, Brazil, Venezuela, Costa Rica and Argentina. All aimed at who now appear to be the leaders of some of the most powerful drug cartels, or high police personal and even two politicians know by our sources as in cahoots with the drug cartels. So far there have been twenty-five confirmed deaths while there are unconfirmed reports of twelve more. We will be following this in our later broadcasts. Now for the weather…."

Hardison grabs the remote from Parker her slack hand and turns the TV's off.

"What the Hell girl? You killed them? How? Why? You only had to scare them off Eliot."

Parker turns her trademark blank face to Hardison, clearly not understanding her kind of boyfriends consternation.

"I didn't kill them, the det cord did. And that only worked if they got into their car and used the safety belt. That should scare them right, that would scare anybody from going after Eliot. Why did you wreak havoc in the far East? For fun? No for Eliot. And you know that people are going to die over that as well. Does that mean you killed them?"

Leaving Hardison speechless after this little speech, Parker heads out the window and disappears in the dusky evening. Trying to get her back Hardison makes his way to the door. He knows he doesn't stand a chance even if he did go thru the window, that way he would only break something. Only when he is almost out the door he hears his phone start on the trademark tune he put in it for Nate. Cursing up a storm he grabs his phone to the message that Nate and Sophie also got their marks in sight and that they need some of his computer wizard help.

After dashing off a fast and short message to Europe that Eliot is apparently on a crabfishing boat in the Beringsea and relatively safe, he fires up his computers again and starts on locating the three nasty characters Nate and Sophie are going to be hunting. He should have everything ready for them by the time they reach st Petersburg.

Grabbing for his orange soda he loses his concentration for a bit, finding that the bottle is nowhere to be found. Only to hear a sound at the window. When he turns around there is a bottle of steaming cold orange soda sitting on the window sill with a still scowling Parker next to it.

"You're out of soda, but I am still angry with you." Is all she has to say.

Making his way to the window to give Parker a big fast hug, not tempting fate with a longer hug or a kiss, in case she has a fork ready he gets his soda and turns back to the three running computers explaining on the way. "I just got a text from Nate, he and Sophie are going to Ukraine to get the Butcher of Kiev's little brother and some other nasty characters." Knowing full well that Parker is still at the window listening.

Both their worlds are spinning the right way again. The family might be spread out all over the planet but Hardison knows who is where. And Parker knows that everybody will be together again eventually, and that is all she has to know.

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	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17.

Doing bait isn't half the hard work everybody warned Eliot about. Sure it stinks, but hey what do you expect with defrosted shopped up dead fish. And sure it is heavy, thirty-five to forty pounds of bait per pot and over a hundred pots a day. Yeah he will feel his shoulders tomorrow. Knowing he will have to do it again tomorrow isn't his idea of fun either. But that isn't all that hard. The hard part about doing bait is being in a cage, inside a cage over a hundred times a day, on your back looking thru the netting to the sky outside of it. And sure he knows he can get out again, but he is inside a cage for over a hundred times a day for a few seconds on his back, helpless, vulnerable. He doesn't know these guys well enough yet to completely trust them. So he is glad it is Josh in control of closing the pots. He would have been sweating bullets if it had been that tattooed guy Loftland. Or the shifty youngster with bad skin, Scotty. Just knowing that that kid is in charge of putting the cage back into the sea is bad enough.

That is another thing on this boat he doesn't understand, he is Mac. Well that kind of makes sense with the last name he has right now. Josh is Harris, but okay, Harris is 'Dammit Harris' to him as well, the tattooed guy is Loftland. The freakishly long guy Mike is either Mike or Fourthner. But everybody else goes by a first name. there are a Johnathan, Andy, Neil and Scotty. Why? What is the deciding factor on that, number of years on the boat. Because he also figured out that Harris, Loftland and he are the new, or at least newer boys on the playground.

So in between strings while he is lifting one of those forty pound frozen packages of dead fish into the grinder he asks the Spock eared kid. Only just remembering to not call him dammit Harris, but to go for his real name, and checking that there are no camera's near by.

"Hey Josh, why are we newbies called by our last name, and the rest by their given name? is it some sort of hazing process?"

Josh stops for a minute to light his cigarette with a propane burner giving an over seven inch bright blue flame and thinks it over for a few seconds. Then bending over to push the ground up dead fish away from the mouth of the grinder he shouts over the noise.

"Nope, it's because if they all went with their last name it would get too confusing."

He might be hiding his face but Eliot is an expert reader of body posture, he was good at it before he ever learned from Sophie, but now he is one of the best, so he knows when he is being laughed at. Grabbing a handful of dead fish he throws it at the kid. When Josh turns to look at him he clearly is grinning from ear to ear but trying to frown, while shaking dead fish from his cigarette.

"They are all Hillstrand's each and every one of them. The oldest three are brothers, and Scotty is John's son. And it is their boat. That's why they go by first name only."

Okay, that also kind of makes sense. Four guys with the same name on one boat would get confusing.

Only now Josh has Eliot's attention it seems the youngster likes to chatter.

"On the Northwestern they now have three Jake's, from what I heard Sig is going ballistic. Or psycho, but that isn't really a new thing." The kid is chattering away about all kind of stuff but Eliot hardly hears it over the racket the grinder is making. When five packs of frozen yukkie fish are chopped up the bin if full again and he moves over next to Josh and also starts shuffling the stuff into the bait buckets, setting up sets ready to go into the cages for the next couple of strings. No Pods the things are pods, not cages, if only he can remember to think of them as pods he might feel less trapped inside.

The next twenty or so times he has to lie on his back inside a cage ( no Pod, the thing is a Pod) that is ready to go to the bottom of the sea. In a freezing ocean. Eliot almost welcomes the pain in his shoulders as a way to stay in the here and now. And not go back to that other cage he was in. Not over a deadly sea but next to a wall on top of a mountain, in Burma near the Chinese border. In the freezing snow and hail, waiting to either starve, freeze, being taken in again for torture or even execution. That was one of the worst experiences in his live. Only two so far toping it are the golden monkey debacle and on number one Sophie's acting on stage.

And he has now found another downside to doing bait, or at least the repetitiveness of it during reasonable weather, it leaves to much room for a wandering mind.

Sorry for the delay, but I have been busy with real live. If only I got paid to write.

Reviews make my happy, it is the only reward I get.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18.

Beating a dozen eggs in the big bowl isn't the best way to wake up, but Eliot prefers the work that goes into a decent food to more burned pop tarts for breakfast. The others were still sleeping, or so he thought.

"What the hell are you doing?" Suddenly the very irritated voice of Neil Hillstrand sounded very close, way to close actually for safety, Neil's safety that is. Never startle a Hitter in a confined space with no easy way out, could get painful.

Cursing himself for being caught out with nothing to defend himself with but an egg whisk, again, Eliot swivels around, not even spilling a single drop of beaten egg. He even managed to catch himself from killing Neil with the egg whisk. ( He did some training after that little incident with the Butcher of Kiev and can now kill with all kitchen implements. Even a zip tie bag or the cardboard package it comes in.)

"Making breakfast, what does it look like I am doing?" Is all Eliot manages to growl out.

Glaring down on the worse for wear Hitter Neil grabs the bowl and egg whisk away and turns to the stove.

"Sit. I do the cooking over here. You're job is on deck. Stay the hell out of my galley." Still mumbling under his breath about fucking retards and stuff Neil pours a portion of the eggs in the already hot skillet and starts on the omelets.

"What do you want in yours?" is the first partly friendly thing he says to Eliot in the trip so far. Eying the collection of clean and cutup omelet extra's.

Sitting down and trying not to explode, where does this idiot think he is coming from telling him, Eliot Spencer, to get out of a galley. Eliot is surprised by the suddenly almost civilized tone of the youngest Hillstrand. So surprised it takes a repeat question before his voice catches up with him and he manages to answer.

"Cheese, bacon and mushrooms please." Well if Neil is being civilized than so can Eliot be civilized.

Within ten minutes Eliot is digging in to a very well cooked omelet with toast and a hot cup of tea, Neil sitting opposite doing the same with a simpler omelet and a bucket of coffee with lots of sugar. Seems Neil has his talking hat on. Eliot is first surprised about it, then he realizes that there are no camera's around. That must be it, seems he isn't the only one not too pleased with the camera crew around.

"I used to work on deck, the hydraulics, but I am getting to old for it, my hands don't like the cold anymore. So now Scotty does that. I tried staying on land, even got married. That didn't last very long. I'm not suited to live on shore, don't think I ever was. So now I am a glorified boat mom. Glorified because I am also the mechanic. Only as the mechanic I don't have a lot of work, thank god and if there is it is almost an emergency, so most of the time I just cook and clean. So please stay away from the galley? If my brothers like your cooking more than mine, I might not have a bunk next trip. And I really, really don't do well on shore."

Even while staring in to his tea it is easy for Eliot to read Neil, the younger brother, never feeling good enough, always the fifth wheel on the wagon.

"Don't worry about it. I had to cook on the Rollo in order to survive. If I didn't I would have died of food poisoning. I don't really like cooking for a bunch of hungry pigs anyway."

Before Neil can answer the rest of the crew floods the place looking for food, coffee and clothes, pretty much behaving as the pigs Eliot just described, even grunting on occasion.

Completely in his element Neil starts cooking more omelets and Eliot makes his way to the mudroom to get ready for the next string, he needs some time to think this thru.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19.

Nate knew that it was a mistake to let Sophie make the travel arrangements. Because somehow they got a couple of hours layover in Paris on their way to Kiev. And also somehow he misplaced his wallet with his credit card in it. And oh yeah, of course Sophie was missing as well, one minute she was next to him walking down one of those endless terminals, the next minute he noticed he was all alone in the tax free section. Now that should be enough to scare better men then him.

Only for some strange reason Nate was relieved. Extremely relieved actually. Because she didn't say a single thing about his fiancée remark, or about Jimmie dangling her on his knees as a little girl named Laura, not that he wasn't thinking about that, only he learned something in his years working with both Sophie and Jimmy. Asking personal questions never works. A staggering credit card bill would be a small price to pay for a free ride on the fiancée remark. Anyway how much damage could one female do in only nine hours in the middle of the night? Even one as resourceful as Sophie. He has a limit on his card, right? He warned Hardison about ever taking it off, no matter what Sophie did to get it. And Hardison would still listen to him right?

Okay, Nate knows he should be petrified, but everything is better than Sophie asking about the fiancée or Laura remark. Or could it be that she is thinking the same thing only with the Laura remark as the big one. Never mind, women are always confusing, and Sophie more than any other.

So Nate makes his way over to one of the bars in the Charles de Gaulle airport waiting for his lover, partner, maybe fiancée, named Sophie or Laura or Charlotte or whatever, to show up with his wallet, money and hopefully not quite maxed out credit card that still has a limit, giving his watch to the bartender as a security for half a night of drinking waiting to get on a plane to Kiev, really Kiev in winter. BRRRRRR.

Luckily for him, about thirty minutes before the last boarding call for the plane to Kiev Sophie does show up and he can get his watch back from a disappointed bartender and his credit card isn't even maxed out yet because he can pay the bar with it. Or the limit is gone and in that case Hardison is in trouble.

On their way to the plane he can finally give Sophie the big good news. Eliot has been found, he is in Dutch harbor Alaska. Or on a boat somewhere that sails from Dutch Harbor in the winter months. So not totally save but saver then they ever imagined. Hardison came thru and the far east is in total panic. Parker had a blast in South America, literally for a change. Note to self, don't let Parker near explosives for a few months so she can come down from that high. So even the Chileans would be thinking twice before they went after Eliot or Parker again.

Now it is up to Sophie to get them into the correct lowlife circle's of Kiev and it seems she knows just how to do it, thanks to all the mayhem Parker created in Brazil and surrounding countries.


	20. Chapter 20

Sorry for the long wait. But somehow the story ran away with me and now I can't get it back on track, so writing takes forever.

Chapter 20

Eliot didn't have to think about the Hillstrand family dynamics. He couldn't care less about that actually even if it could make live on board troublesome. If Neil felt like the third wheel in the family tree that is his problem. No he was thinking about the weird bad luck he had in all of this. His ending up on the wrong boat, the camera crew talking about drug pushers on some of the other boats but not on theirs while they did have a rooky cameraman. And why would anybody want to make a eight season series about a bunch of crab fishermen anyway? Sure the work is grueling, and the scenery amazing during the more lousy weather, but where is the money coming from, not from advertising, that's for sure, he certainly never watched the show. And what can you advertise for, Alaskan crab? Winter boots? Fireworks and booze? Cigarettes and chewing tobacco? He is pretty sure most of those things are prohibited from advertizing, even if he isn't quite sure about that, he would have to ask Har…. No, no more thinking about them.

Lost in thoughts he made his way to the mudroom, or changing room or whatever it was called on a crab boat, only to be brought to a standstill with one foot in the door and one still in the hallway. Apparently he was moving softer then he thought, even with all the noise on board. Because there was the youngster rookie camera man, Frankie, putting something inside somebody's his rain gear with a Q tip. And if that wasn't strange enough he was wearing surgical gloves.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Eliot isn't even really angry yet, but Frankie's reaction clearly speaks of a guilty conscious. He jumps about five feet high and scrambles to hide the bottle with the clear fluid he was using on the raingear. Josh his raingear Eliot realizes when he sees the writing on the back.

Now that is enough to get Eliot angry, he kind of almost likes Josh. Moving like a flash Eliot has Frankie pinned to the bulkhead with his forearm against Frankie's throat, leaving the man very little air and without anything to put his toes on, clawing on Eliot's forearm with absolutely no effect.

"You didn't answer my question. What…the…..HELL…are …..you…doing?" Eliot is growling, not very loud but the others enjoying their breakfast notice something is going on.

"Eliot, let him go." Andy orders.

"No, he's did something to Josh his raingear."

"Eliot, let him go, there is nowhere for him to go, we are on a boat." Andy always is the voice of reason. Stepping back Eliot lets Frankie go, and the guy slides down to the floor rubbing his mangled throat trying to catch his breath. Eliot stoops to get the small medicine bottle that Frankie dropped in a boot.

"Look, GHB, this stuff is nasty, goes through the skin. So Josh would have been high as a kite while pulling pots."

John takes the bottle from Eliot and tries to read the label. "It says gammahydroxcybuttersomething . How dangerous can butter be?"

"It ain't butter dad, it's a drug. A nasty one." Scotty manages to get out. "I used it once, but too weird for me. Talk about pink elephants on the ceiling, really freaked me out."

The last bit in a near whisper because his father and uncle's are giving him a death glare.

"Since when do you do drugs?" Frankie and his murder attempt are forgotten, the Hillstrands are having a family crisis.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21.

Sophie looked spectacular as always. Extremely high heels, golden with tassels. Legs that go on forever and ever in a wide but short dress in pretty much all the colours of the rainbow. And probably all the golden jewellery either she or Parker ever stole all over her body. Hair up high and too much makeup and perfume to lend the finishing touches.

Nate went for the Papadoucalas persona, a light blue shiny ill fitting polyester suit, white shirt with ruffles along the cuffs and a bright red tie adorned with a really gaudy diamond tiepin. And white shiny fake leather shoes that squeak with every step he takes. For hair the dead cat from the job with the school and the pathetic kid that could sing.

Walking two or three steps behind Sophie and looking as a beaten down employee who has given up all hope of ever getting a better position in the organisation and knowing he will never get out alive to try somewhere else, Nate has every opportunity to check out his opponents. And they where scary, only Sophie has them eating out off her well manicured hands within ten minutes. Off course with two inch golden nails with real tiny diamond insets. Within twenty minutes those well manicured hands where clutching the opponents by the balls, figuratively off course, she would never dirty her hands by doing it literally. Her latest creation Bianca Peres, oldest daughter from a Brazilian mob family sure knew how to make an entrance and capture an unwilling crowd.

"So gentlemen we have an agreement yes? You take out this Eliot Spencer and my family and I only do business with you in Brazil. We approve of his little vendetta taking out the competition, but we don't want him after us." With her best Portuguese accent and not even a flirty smile in sight. The pastry chef of Kiev and his two cronies agree and Sophie, or Bianca, with her lapdog Nate make their way out of the building, Sophie's heels clicking a staccato on the concrete floor, while Nate's shuffles his squeaky way behind her. The moment they are out the door a well trained group of international special forces decent from the ceiling taking out the three ugly characters that Jimmy Brown had pointed out to Nate. The law finally has concrete proof of them plotting an assassination on an American citizen, so now the law can take custody of the pastry chef without breaking any further laws or creating an international incident. Passing Jimmy on their way to the getaway car Sophie pulls the wire and camera from her poofy hair and gives it to the geeky looking older guy that was introduces as R by Jimmy when he installed the equipment.

"Thanks R, Jimmy. Pleasure doing business with you." Now with the flirty smile in the direction of the silver Fox. "The pleasure is all ours Sophie, if you ever decide to go legit look me up."

Nate isn't paying attention to this little one on one going on, he suddenly has a spring in his squeaky step and pulls his phone out of his pocket speed dialling Hardison. "Hardison take Parker and go steal Eliot back, we have this thing under control." Hanging up right after, leaving Hardison gaping like a fish on dry land.

"Go steal Eliot, Eliot is in the middle of nowhere having fun with the boys. I bet he doesn't want to get stolen, and Alaska is extremely outdoorsy, and I don't do outdoors, I hate nature. Remember that time with the train? It's freezing out there like real freezing, with ice and snow and shit like that. Planes don't always fly but the mosquito's should have their own registration number and file a flight plan their so big. If you get stung you need a blood transfusion, and I have a rare type. Hardly any internet anywhere. I can't even get a satellite that way. Go steal Eliot, Really, Nobody appreciates what I do. Nobody. Go steal. Ha." All the while packing all the warm clothes he has in a big duffel with his left hand and getting plane tickets to Anchorage on his Smartphone with his right hand.

Parker's just watches Alex grumping in his way around. She was fully packed to go steal Eliot back two hours after finding out he was on a boat in Alaska. That is what the survival store around the corner is for right?


	22. Chapter 22

Sorry for the long wait between chapters. But as everybody knows real live has a tendency to mess with inspiration.

But the story will continue and I will finish it. Someday.

Chapter 22.

Eliot has figured out another thing he shares with these crab fishermen that he really appreciates, and that Hardison should learn, fast if he ever works with him again. ( no don't think about working with Hardison ever again. To keep Hardison safe he can never see him again. Ever). Sure family dynamics are great, or awful depending on what side of the dynamics you are. And Drama happens. But when it is time to work, you work and leave the Drama for when you have time for it. No more jabbering in your ear about what some computer geek is doing, or not doing because he played some lame computer game all night.

Because within ten minutes of Scotty's bombshell about doing GHB on occasion and his family exploding about it, everybody is working out on deck as if nothing has happened. Mike is stationed at the rail with a nasty looking metal hook on a rope or line ( now that would make a nice weapon of mass destruction in the right circumstances) to catch the bags that have the crab pots attached to it. His concentration is almost tangible in his focus on the small orange bags bobbing on the steel gray water. After Mike gets the line on board he puts it in something that looks like the love child of a wheelbarrow wheel and some mediaeval torture thing. But somehow the lovechild manages to haul the heavy pots up out of the water. When the rope on top of the pot shows up at about deck level, Mike hooks it with another hook that is attached to the crane that lifts the whole thing on deck and into the launcher.

Once on the launcher the pot gets clamped by two dogs. ( Or so the hook thingies are called, there are a stupid amounts of hooks on a boat). Eliot and Travis then open the pot and Scott tilts the launcher so all the crab are spilled onto the table. There the more experienced crew fish out the big males to go into the hold that is filled with seawater so they can go to somebody's dinner table, while the females and smaller crabs get tossed back into the sea to grow some more or have more baby's. Eliot in the mean time climbs into the now empty pot, on his back in a cage ready to drop in the freezing water again and again and again. To take out the empty bag with bait and to put in a new bag of shopped haring and two sliced up codfish.

The first pot has about twenty-five crabs. Apparently enough to get everybody cheering and whooping with joy so it must be a good catch. By the end of the twenty pot string the average is forty-two. By then everybody is wet, sweaty and hungry. So it is a good thing Neal has a nice cold lunch ready. Normally with boat-mom Neal free from hydraulics lunch should be warm. Only Neal has been busy playing cameraman to replace Frankie and Frankie himself is stuck in one of the staterooms tied to a bunk with some chain that is welded closed. Eliot has a bit too much experience with lock picks to trust anybody willing to drug somebody on a boat with a lock on a chain. And three of the deckhands know how to handle a welder. All Frankie has is a bottle of water and a well closing bucket within reach for an emergency or the inevitable call of nature.

During lunch the "since when are you doing drugs" discussion gets picked up again right where it left off. To the amusement of the not family part of the crew. Only it is clear Scotty isn't too impressed by the lecture from his dad and uncle's. He grew up hearing about all the stupid things his dad and uncle's did from his grandmother. So he knows his booboo isn't even close to all the shit his three, all of a sudden holier than holy, strictest critics have pulled.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23.

Hell, that's it, HELL. No other word for it. He isn't even really in Alaska yet. Or okay kind of, the Anchorage airport counts as Alaska, but still. Even here pretty much all forms of modern civilization or comfort are gone. Don't they have any Wifi over here? It's an airport and the quality of the Wifi is about as bad as on a public college. Hardison isn't happy.

Making his way over to the transfer desk to get the tickets to get to Dutch Hardison keeps trying to get the tickets on internet, but it just isn't working. And when he sees the desk he understand why.

The guy at the desk is reading a wedding magazine, not paying attention to anything else. And Really? A magazine. Those things are out dated by the time they are shipped. Internet, that is what you need for a good wedding, and he knows, yes Alec Hardison knows about weddings he helped steal one once. A mafia wedding even, and he stole it. With a little help but still, he did steal it. He was the DJ and everybody knows the DJ makes the wedding, right? Damm right man.

Stealing back Eliot is going to be harder. Because Eliot probably doesn't want to be stolen back. Stealing somebody who doesn't want to be stolen isn't easy anyway, stealing Eliot when he is resisting might prove to be pretty deadly.

Walking up to the desk and not even bothering with waiting to be acknowledged Hardison starts speaking.

"Hey man, I need two tickets to Dutch harbor, fast."

The kid doesn't even look up to talk Hardison or Parker for that matter. Parker glances over at Hardison with a wicked grin and he gives her a nod and wink meaning go do your thing mama.

With that Parker leans over the desk and snatches all moveable and some not actually moveable items from the desk leaving the kid wide eyed and clearly terrified. Not again.

Hardison also leans over the desks to get into the kids face.

"Look kid, I can understand the fascination with weddings. But we" pointing from himself to Parker. "need to be on the first flight to Dutch Harbor. Get us on it and she might give you back your magazine, stapler, staple remover, is that…. Really? Tipex?" Glancing at Parker who is flipping thru one of the magazines, fascinated with the clearly vintage wedding magazine. The thing isn't outdated it is vintage, clear eighties stuff. With lots of those colorful little post it taps put on the different pages. Holding out his hand for one of the magazines Hardison studies the marked pages for a bit.

"So you're going for an eighties vintage wedding? Nice, but while you can use it for inspiration those flower arrangements are to outdated, don't even think they grow those pink things anymore. And flowers are expensive over here right? So something like this is going to cost a fortune, and those bridesmaids dresses are so not going to work anymore, those things where hideous in the eighties, now it is a reason for homicide. You do want to get married and live long with your new wife, right?"

The kids eyes are about to pop out of his face but he manages to nod in agreement, faintly trying to get one of the remaining magazines back from Parker, who has parked herself on his desk swinger her legs like a little girl, rhythmically kicking her heels against the side of it.

Grabbing his iphone 7, courtesy of Sophie of course, Alex gives a big sigh of relieve, he has internet finally. Pulling op a wedding site he starts working on it for about two minutes.

"Now this is a flower arrangement that might work as a table piece, this is a nice wedding bouquet. And this dress?" Holding out the magazine for the kids observation. "Is your fiancée about six foot five and ninety pounds?"

Looking bewildered the kid eyes fly from the tiny screen to the magazine to Hardison and back.

"No she is about five foot five and curvy."

"Well then she is going to look like this in this dress." Hardison snaps a picture of the willowy figure in the dress that is indicated and does his magic on the picture. "Not a very good look now is it?"

The kid nods, because yeah, the dress clearly isn't designed for curves.

"She is also pregnant, about two months now, but by the time we are getting married closer to five."

A couple more internet magic minutes later Hardison shows the perfect dress.

"Do you have internet or," something below the desk pings. "Okay, I got it. You have the pic's and the other specifics on your phone now."

Getting bored with the magazines Parker is the one to get back to business.

"Now flight to Dutch when and how?"

"It's leaving in five minutes so you missed the one of today, tomorrow… Auch"

"Get it to stop and you will be able to breathe again." Is all Parker has to say, holding the kid by his throat, smiling sweetly.

"Parker, put him down, he'll help because he wants a nice wedding, Right?"

As soon as Parker lets go the kids grabs a walkie-talkie kind of thing.

"Flight 501, flight 501. This is the desk, there is a problem, can you hold fifteen minutes for two more passengers? Yeah they are on their way."

Printing out two tickets and pointing down the terminal at the same time the kid is actually doing his job for a change.

"Run, you have ten minutes, terminal twenty-six."

Hardison grabs his bulky duffel bag over his right shoulder and his laptop bag over his left to hurry after Parker who is skipping ahead with her backpack on, looking as if the thing doesn't weight a thing.

reviews are apreciated, especially ones that make me a better writer.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Chop haring, put it in bag, get codfish, slice codfish, hook codfish by the gills on hook, hook bag of chopped haring on same hook, run with hook to empty pot, climb in and lay on your back to hook the hook with lots of dead stinky dripping fish on netting, scramble out of pot, close pot with Travis on the other side, have Travis yell at you for being too slow, yeah right, no don't slam his head thru the netting, Travis is necessary for the work, pot gets released into the water, grab old bag, empty it out, no time to watch the birds, bummer, run to bait station and start everything again.

Eliot is getting bored, very very bored and not a little bit ticked off. Travis yelling at him to go faster isn't helping. Not helping Travis except for blowing off steam and not helping Eliot stay focused and go faster. There has been too much yelling and cursing at him over the years.

-flash back-flash back-flash back-flash back-

"You fucking retard, how often do I have to tell you. Listen to me moron." Slap, a right handed blow to the head. "Now what, you cry baby, are you going to start bawling. How old are you, three? Just make sure this mess is cleaned up by the time I get back." Cousin Louie is screaming at the top of his lungs, spittle is flying and landing on little Eliot's face. He isn't three, he's five. But only just, and a small five at that. His cousin and most recent tormentor is fifteen and he has to share a right now very messy room with him. Little Eliot and his mother had to move in with his mothers sister. Only to find out that uncle Dave is even worse that his dad. Or his dad when he is sober, the problem is that dad isn't sober all that much anymore. But uncle Dave is a bastard even when he is sober or especially when he is sober. And cousin Louie is about just as bad, to Eliot that is. Not to his mother, they both behave to his mother. His mother is save here, so Eliot just tucks in his chin and bears it not saying anything even when he has a black eye or a contusion. Right now he starts cleaning the mess that cousin Louie made with his friends.

- end flash back-end flash back-end flash back-

Josh nearly ends up head first in the bait bin when he elbows Eliot to get his attention. "Wow, take it easy." Josh says flinging up both his hands in a peaceful gesture. "You're wool gathering. Get your head straight and do bait. Never mind Travis, he doesn't understand the dynamics on this boat yet. The boat he came from is very different, we are more laid back then the slave drivers on the Wizard, no greenhorn hazing over here. He'll mellow out some more when he figures out we don't do yelling and cursing at each other, if he doesn't we" pointing between himself, Mike and the wheelhouse. "will get revenge on him. All you have to do is sit back and enjoy the show if we do."

"Thanks and sorry." Eliot manages to mumble, but it is enough for Josh to give one of his face splitting grins. "Want to get even? Travis thinks he is the best with the hook, he isn't Mike is of course, but if you want to give it a try go for it. And beat his ass."

Suddenly Josh is at the microphone to the wheelhouse, eyes twinkling.

"John, Eliot and Travis want to do a little competition. Five pot's on the hook each, loser does bait for the next to strings."

Travis hears and puffs up like a balloon convinced he is going to cream the greenhorn.

"Fine, next five pot's are for Travis. Mikey make way for the champion." Comes over the loud hailer. What Travis doesn't hear is the snigger following that statement, or the fact that both Hillstrands up in the wheelhouse are betting against him. And the captain drives the boat and sometimes a pot is just impossible to reach.

Thanks for reading, and sorry for the slow updates. But my muse doesn't like winter so she is hibernating.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

John takes it easy on the first pot. Travis his first try is a hit, the pot has close to one eighty keepers and everybody is more than happy. To make sure Eliot gets a fair chance Josh has taken over bait boy duty so Eliot is now getting a crash course sorting crab from Mikey, interspersed with advice on how to catch the bags. How much the hook weights, how to throw, how fast to reel it in and how to put in on the block. Shifting between male, female, male, too small and so on, Eliot is also trying to store all the advice, knowing that Travis with bragging rights isn't going to be fun to work with.

The second pot takes Travis four tries and John even has to put the boat in reverse to get it. Travis is also soaking wet because of a freak wave. Andy is still laughing about it when the count of eighty five comes in.

Pot three is a bit more cooperative but not much, three tries. Number four in two tries and number five in four again.

So the champ isn't all that amazing and Travis is pretty much steaming from the ears. He knows he has been played, he only doesn't know how bad yet.

On Mike's insistence Eliot first gets a five pot training run, to learn how to work the block and get a feel for the hook. Only two pots in it is clear that that is enough for Eliot to learn. Both pots are in on the first throw and the block only needed one try and Eliot has is down. Sure his size is a slight problem, but he manages just fine.

So the bet starts, and John is steering the boat in such a way that it's almost impossible to miss. First pot in one try, second in one try, third in one try, fourth in two tries and the last one on the first throw as well. And all well over ninety keepers.

Staying at the rail for the last three pots of the string Eliot is having fun. This is so much better then on his back in a cage over an abyss.

-flash back-flash back-flash back-flash back-

Eliot hoped that with cousin Louie leaving for college live would become easier, and it does for a bit. Sure uncle Dave is still a bastard with loose hands. But it is save to sleep now for most of the time.

Only cousin Louie, not being a genius or a great athlete didn't get a college ship for anywhere out of state, so he has gone to the local college and he comes home for the weekend. Every weekend. The street gossips know what to say, and as always they are dreadfully wrong.

"Such a sweet boy, he knows his mom needs him, and his little cousin misses him dreadfully, he is such a sweet young man to come and spend all that time with that little brad. The brad really doesn't deserve all that attention."

Somehow Eliot still gets blamed for all the shit Louie ever did or still does.

When cousin Louie has that terrible car accident on his way back to college, somehow his breaks malfunction on his way back to college after he made Eliot work in his car for him, Eliot and his mom are thrown out of the house by uncle Dave. And all the town quizzes agree with uncle Dave. Poor uncle Dave, he took care of those two extra mouths to feed for four years and the kid is a miscreant if you ever saw one. Sure he looks like an angel with those big blue eyes, but only when they aren't black from fighting somebody.

So his mom picks up the pieces and takes Eliot to a different town, a new school and new chances. All of a sudden Eliot isn't Louie's little brad cousin wearing ten year old hand me downs, but the new kid in school, the one who knows a little, or a lot, about cars, who can hit a ball, and throw a punch if necessary.

- end flash back- end flash back- end flash back-

Throwing the hook isn't all that different than throwing a ball in football. Pulling in the line is easier that crossing between two buildings on a rope but the same sort of motion. The block, close to some basic self-defense moves. Yeah, working the rail beats doing bait duty every day of the week. Just like guard duty beats latrine duty even if it has a much bigger risk of dying or dead related symptoms.

"Congratulations, your better than I thought Mac." Is Travis his reaction when Eliot passes him on his way inside. Travis even gives him a very bromance like shoulder pat hug thingy. Travis never was a sore loser and he isn't going to start now, and even if he suspects John and Andy of cheating, that's the Hillstrands doing not Eliot.

Thanks for the reviews. They make me happy. My muse is still hibernating, there was snow today. But I am still hopeful she will wake up eventually and make writing easier again.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26.

Hell has no fury like a woman spurned. Ever heard that saying? Hardison did, it's by some old dead English dude as far as he knows, (and yeah he knows never say so in front of Sophie or he is in for a very extensive lecture about Shakespeare the big bard). Only it is clear to Hardison that that dude never has been to Dutch harbor, or Unalaska as it is also called in the dead of winter. According to Hardison there could be heaps of spurned women around here. And all with nothing to say or do because Hell froze over and the fury has gone into hibernation for the season. With good reason by the way. He would like to hibernate as well. In a nice warm soft bed right up until the moment he can fly back home.

Shivering in his thermal underwear and additional three layers of clothes Hardison isn't enjoying himself. His girlfriend on the other hand is having a blast. Must be the only human female over here enjoying herself, he isn't taking any bets on the wolves and foxes. And if she throws one more snowball at him he is going to put a hit out on Bunny. Swear to god, he really is.

Parker really is enjoying herself. This must be where Santa lives. Snow everywhere. Okay no reindeer that she can see but then they are still on an air field. Even Santa knows better than to keep reindeer on a air field. No grass right? But still snow, hills, cute tiny houses in the distance and really big birds with white heads swooping down to fake catch your hat everywhere. Skipping and sliding all over the frozen tarmac with her bag over her shoulder she scoops down for two more hands of snow to make an awesome snowball, getting ready to throw it in the direction of Hardison when all of a sudden she realizes something.

"Hardison, where are the polar bears and penguins? There should be polar bears on the north pole right?"

"Yes Parker, there should be polar bears on the north pole, only we aren't on the north pole, we are in Dutch harbor. And penguins in the wild are only on the southern hemisphere. "

"And on Madagascar."

Seeing the crazy grin on Parkers face Hardison knows he just knows she is playing with him. It's just? Yeah, playing.

"Sure there are penguins on Madagascar. Just not wild ones. Those escaped from New York Zoo."

"And where are the Christmas trees?"

"No Christmas trees Parker, too cold for that. No tree's at all, notice? Now let's go get a cab or something and get to the hotel, wait for Eliot to get back when he is done playing on his boat, somehow grab him and get out of here."

Giggling Parker makes her way over to one of the many car wreck's as she has seen the other passengers do. "Come on silly, we don't need a cab, we can get this one. And the hotel is that big building over there, can't miss it."

Ten terrifying minutes later Hardison manages to drop himself from the car, kissing the snow covered ground in worship. Parker driving is always scary in the best of circumstances, as in on real roads and in modern cars with proper braking and a working seatbelt, preferably also an airbag and a seat that stays in place. Parker driving on snow and black ice without snow chains, any brakes to speak of, no seatbelt and yours truly bend double with his knees in his neck holding on to the door because the seat is in the most forward position and the door doesn't stay closed on right-hand corners, is death defying. By the time Hardison gets up and makes his way into the hotel Parker has two adjoining rooms on the third floor and dinner reservations set up.

She also is in a heated discussion with two heavily bearded guy's. Good thing there are no forks or other eating utensils within easy reach.

"Hey there Mama, what's going on?" Always the hero Hardison swoops in and very bravely puts a restraining arm around Parker's shoulders while glaring at the two beards

Only the result isn't what he expected.

The blond well groomed beard grabs Hardison's not offered right hand and starts shaking it with gusto.

"Thank God you're here so fast. You are the new cameramen from Original Productions right, amazing lets go. They didn't warn us that one of you was going to be a female but that will work. The boats should be here in two days so we have some time to brief you. You're not seasick are you?"

Pulling back his hand and whipping the sweat off on his trousers Hardison steals a look in Parker her direction, and seeing her shiny eyes and eager expression he knows trouble is ahead.

"No, not seasick, but I am no camera crew, and I am not going on any boat, I'm Pardison tech support, you know computers and stuff? And this is my assistant, Alice White. She isn't going anywhere near a boat either." Giving Parker her shoulder a rather nasty pinch just to make sure she understands she isn't going anywhere on a boat with a bunch of strangers with beards.


	27. Chapter 27

This chapter is more for the Deadliest catch fans than Leverage. I am trying to even it out a bit.

Chapter 27.

"Sig, SIG, there's something wrong with Jake. Hurry." Panic is clear in the young voice reaching Sig's ears, not really registering in his brain yet, because he isn't really awake. Or should it be he really isn't awake.

"Huh? What the Beeb are you talking about idiot, you're Jake."

"No not me, Jake Anderson, Junior, it's his time to take wheel watch. And he isn't waking up, no matter what I try. And he has a puncture wound on his arm, like he got stuck with a needle. Only I don't believe he did it himself, he has been clean for too long. Jake is happy right? Married and all that stuff this year. It must be that creepy Disco Jake that's behind it, I'm sure of it. Never liked the creep."

Suddenly Sig is a lot more awake. Shit, he should really have listened to Andy Hillstrand that first day out and taken his advice to heart. Making his way to the bunks of Jake and Jake Sig stoops down to get a better look at his junior deckboss. And sure enough there is a single needle mark in his right elbow. Which is very strange since Junior is right handed. His breathing is labored and slow, his pupils are blown wide and his skin is pale and clammy. Not good, not good at all. Thinking as fast as possible on what to do the only thing he can think of at the moment is waking up Edgar.

"Jake get back up in the wheelhouse and drive the boat, set course for the nearest port, I don't care if it is Dutch, st. Paul or somewhere in Russia. Also contact the coastguard and get medical assistance, Edgar or me will be up in fifteen minutes to talk to them. GO. GO NOW dammit." Sig ends up pushing a very worried Jake Harris out off the door with brute force.

Because Jake Harris seems inclined to hang around not knowing what to do, but worried sick about his buddy. After Sig's last GO and push he finally seems to snap out of it and he scrambles to the wheelhouse.

Sig moves over to the next door, waking up Edgar and Matt. Edgar because he has the most experience with first aid, and Matt because he has been in the spot of Jake before in his life. Or as close as can be without dying himself.

"Edgar get up, Jake Anderson has been drugged, so help him. Matt get Nick and Norman and sit on this bastard Disco Jake and don't let him move. Hell sit on that other guy as well if he objects until we get somewhere we can dump them off to the law."

Normally Edgar takes orders from Sig, well kind off after some healthy objection and heated discussion, but not during medical problems. Then Sig listens to his kid brother alright.

"Sig get the first aid kit, and the vials and syringes that I taped underneath the bottom drawer of the cards cabinet. And get one of the others to find out what Bastard Disco Jake gave Junior, and how much."

Turning Jake over on his side to keep his airways open there isn't much Edgar can do at the moment. Sig gets the vials with antidote, syringes and first aid kit. And gives Jake Harris instructions to bring it over to Edgar so he can talk to the medical crew about what to do.

Knowing full well that all the other boats can hear what is going on. Including the cameramen on the other boats what might give problems on those boats, since his cameramen decided to start drama the others might start as well. Or they could get scared about it and behave for a while longer. Who knows?

So his talk to the coastguard is an indirect warning for his fellow captains, pretty much telling them to sit on their Disco guys, even the ones they had on a previous trip. Because one of his deck hands might be dying because he didn't believe the Time Bandit captains. But the Hillstrands were right for a change. So lock those idiots up until they can prove that they don't have any dope or other shit.

He isn't sure if they all got the message, or believe him. But he sure hopes so, it might save lives.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28.

Going from surprised to shocked to downright pissed off Andy is listening to the radio during his watch. Hearing Sig talk to the emergency crew about Jake Anderson's situation he knows right away that it is one of those bloody new camera guy's.

But during the emergency isn't the time to ask questions or throw around incriminations. But it is the best time to get a good look at their own problem and make sure he stays in place, and maybe find out what the big idea was anyway. Why did Discovery put drug pushers on the boats. It's supposed to be a real live show about crab fishing, and sure they all play it up to the camera at times. The fireworks do happen but not half as often without a camera crew on board. Same with the pranks. The pickup truck was playing it up for the camera, normally it would be a pot welded shut with garbage or a blow up doll inside. So they kind of supersized it, and it worked, was totally worth the headache of working around the damm thing at the start of the trip.

The egg fight with the Northwestern was also for the camera. But hey it also worked. And Sigs acting with the Chinese good luck lanterns? Amazing, they guy deserved an Oscar for that one, especially since he helped pick out and transport the lanterns. You could almost believe he was shitting himself seeing UFO's. Instead Discovery won an Emmy for best real live show filming Phil Harris his death. Yeah Right, good thing that wasn't scripted.

Not that Andy is complaining about all the exposure he and the other Deadliest catch crew got, it brings in the money. Somehow it still amazes him what junk people will buy only because it has one of their names on it. Because Johnathan writing a children book about a birdie? And it actually sells, even if he doubts it is to children, more likely to their mothers. He still doesn't know what is the weirder part of that deal anyway. Johnathan writing at all never mind a book, that it is a children book or anything Johnathan wrote selling?

Sitting at wheel watch while the pots soak is a very good time to think about everything and everyone. And John has done his fair share of wheel watches, so maybe he did think up a book in that time. Andy usually thinks about other things. Like how to get a very stubborn drug pusher to talk. Somehow he has the feeling that leaving the new guy, Mac in charge of that is the only sure way to get the bastard to talk. But he also has the feeling he really doesn't want to know how Mac is going to get the bastard to talk. And he never considered himself a squeamish person. Mac can be scary, like really horror movie psycho scary. If that guy really is just a baseball player down on his luck than Andy is a movie star. Oh wait, Sig really did do a movie, voiceover only, playing his boat, but still. Okay movie star is getting too big a possibility. If Mac is just a baseball player then he is a gay interior designer. Yeah that would work.

Grinning to himself at the idea of walking thru a store picking out wallpaper and chandeliers Andy listens to the now silent radio waiting for more information on Jake Anderson. Seems most other boats are doing the same. Let's hope they all heard the not so subtle warning to shackle their camera crew to a bulkhead and weld the chain shut.

Sorry, inspiration is still about as low as the outside temperatures. I get most inspiration when on nice long walks ( over two hours) and this isn't walking weather.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29.

Hardison now known as Pardison ( it is Swahili okay, get over it.) and Alice are having a nice dinner with the two bearded guy's from Discovery. It seems they are an adorable gay couple that have been doing the logistics for the camera crews since the series started. Danny and Steve. Danny is blond, short but well build and rather excitable, he also seems unable to talk without waving his hands around to emphasize what he is saying. Steve is more distinguished looking pepper and salt, bit more pepper than salt, almost as tall as Hardison himself and also muscular, Steve also has a bit the same fibe that Eliot can have when trying to act relaxed during trouble.

"So why do you need new camera men anyway? Did the ones on those boats out there get killed?"

Alice is eager to know. Both Danny and Steve are a bit intimidated by this fierce little blond thing that they found bouncing around the lobby earlier that day. But then those California blondes can be hyped up on god knows what. That is the whole problem with the crew they have to work with this time round, normally they are all hyped up naturally on adrenalin but this time only half is, the other half is on god knows what. And all Alpha males. They know how to deal with alpha males hyped up on adrenaline and testosterone. Bouncy female blonds are not their area of expertise.

And now these two showed up out of nowhere. First pretending to be more support staff and now talking about helping those who can't help themselves by slightly bending the law, of picking up where the law leaves off. Leverage associates? Sure very trustworthy. Only Danny decided they need all the help they can get to keep the show going and that he trusts the two weird ones. So Steve is willing to go along, even if it means getting rid of the big boss in LA.

"No they didn't get killed, or not that we heard of, not that I would mind if some of them were dead. But the Idiot Jake on the Northwestern apparently drugged one of the deck hands. And the one on the Time Bandit got shackled to a bunk for something like that by that weird new deck hand they stole, or was forcefully relocated by the idiots now working for us, from the Rollo. Our boss has gone crazy and is getting drug pushers as camera men just to crank up the ratings. Or to pull down the most popular fishing crews. Because the Hansen and the Hillstrands are getting to popular with the fans. The show was never supposed to go about the by now fab four. But somehow it is. And that pisses him off and makes him do crazy things."

Danny is nearly crying about how awful he feels about it. Both Parker and Steve had to duck several times because of all his hand waving, seems the man talks almost as much with his hands as with his mouth. Steve takes over in a calmer tone but clearly pissed off.

"I'm not sure if it really is Thom Beers that has gone crazy. Why would he sabotage his own most successful show? Sure last season was bad as well, but not because the camera crew was ordered to mess up. We all miss Phil Harris, and the dynamics of the show changed with his death. But why get rid of tested camera crew to fly in drug dealers? There also was a leggy brunette in his office who didn't belong there right before he started sabotaging his own show. She was also there after the presentation."

"Yes, why indeed why sabotage his own success show?" Hardison is enjoying his role as the mastermind slash first contact. For the second time in his leverage career he is bringing in a client. Or is it Eliot's client again? Eliot found trouble alright, but he didn't get the team involved. Hardison also knows what he has to do. As soon as dinner is done and the two beards have left he will be firing up his computer, try to get into this hotel wonky wifi and get to the bottom of this Thom Beers financials. Too bad he can't hack into the security camera's of New Productions offices to find the leggy brunette. Facial recognition might help out a lot if it isn't just Thom Beers but other players as well.

Oh wait, he can, with some help from the two left behind in Boston. Sophie is bound to like a trip to sunny California during the winter. Time to make a call.

Short chapter but weather still not cooperating with long walks to get inspiration.

Feedback makes me happy.


	30. Chapter 30

Sorry for the long delay. Real live got in the way.

Any mistakes are mine, I don't have a Beta, and English isn't my first language.

Chapter 30.

"Oh god not another one." The only reason Thom Beers isn't hiding underneath his desk pretending not to be in his office is that the leggy brunette has marched into said office without warning or introduction seen him sitting picking his nose and is already talking to him.

This one is a bit more reserved than the other one, and a lot less fake but just as stunning and scaring the shit out of him just as much if not more.

"Mister Beers? How nice to meet you." With a definite Australian twang, a bored demeanor and her hands behind her back. No way Sophie is going to touch a hand that was just knuckle deep in a nose. "My name is Carol Brine from Canberra, Australia, my partner and I have been send to investigate the accusations that your company is filming, or has filmed in a restricted nature reserves without the proper permits. And thereby disturbing the local wildlife. A show called Mythbusters? Trying to get sharks to jump and getting to close to the salties and roos."

Okay that wasn't what Thom was expecting, and partner? Only then does he notice the unobtrusive man in the background. Making a for him fast recovery he brings out his most charming smile and gives the leggy brunette a nod.

"Yes of course Miss Brine. My assistant will help you along." Thom is out of his chair and rushing the stunning but bored brunette and her not impressing partner out of his office and into the hallway. He tries to put his right hand on the small of her back, but Carol/Sophie is rushing to stay ahead of that disgusting thing.

Waving down his assistant from behind her desk in the somewhat drafty hallway, he shepherds the two investigators her way.

"Clarice, please take Miss Brine and Mister, uh, Mister? I'm sorry but I seem to have missed your name?"

Nate gives one of his trademark don't mind me I am only working on half a brain smiles. " Jones, Barnaby Jones."

"Right Mister Jones and Miss Brine, please take them to bookkeeping for all the paperwork on Myth Busters. Thank you."

As soon as he has the two Australians out of his hallway Thom returns to his desk chair and sinks down again. If he never sees another leggy brunette or even halfway attractive female again he would be a happy man. He might even consider going gay.

Two hours later over in Dutch Harbor Hardison is having a field day checking out his new live footage on the New Productions offices. Nate is good at placing camera's and bugs. Almost as good as Parker and Eliot. He still is the master but it isn't fair to expect anybody else to perform on such a high level.

Now if only that leggy brunette Steve had seen on the day of the presentation makes an appearance so he can find out who she is and who she is connected to. That would be great.

Feedback or reviews are appreciated.

Thanks in advance.


	31. Chapter 31

Thanks for the reviews, I know I dont respond to each one in person but every review is cherished.

EwaB

Chapter 31.

Breakfast on the Time Bandit is a subdued affair for a change. Until Andy makes his way down at the end of his night watch, chuckling about something he heard on the radio.

"What's so funny?" Mike wants to know. He is the only person somewhat awake and willing to talk this early in the morning.

"It's Sig, he's having a coronary because some skinny overactive blond lady is on his boat looking for Disco Jake's stash of drugs."

"So? Nothing new there. Sig has a coronary about every other hour." Is all Neal has to say while staring at his empty coffee cub. He's contemplating getting up for a refill but it might be too much of an effort this early and he doesn't think he can get anybody else to do it for him. or could he pull rank on Travis? Travis is standing next to the coffee machine. Decisions, decisions why are they so hard. But before he can go further on this train of thoughts Andy starts chuckling again.

"No, you're right Neal, nothing new there. But the first thing this jumpy Blond did when she came on board was sniff at Sig his hair and tell him he stank and should use a different kind of shampoo unless he doesn't mind loosing the rest of the little he has left. Right in his face too, and when he gave her his best psycho Sig stare she just shrugged and said she's seen better but that with more practice he might become more intimidating. Maybe if he only growled a bit while glaring, but then only if he can do that really low and from deep down in his throat. Then Matt told her he already searched everywhere drugs could be hidden on the boat, and he would know with his history where any good hiding places would be. Only to have her tell him he is adorable in his ingenuousness, then she patted him on his head and, or so the story goes, skipped down the deck grinning like a maniac and straight to Sig's cabin. Took a good look around, zeroed in on a light fixture, got it down with a nifty electrical screwdriver she had hidden in her belt and there it was. One tiny plastic bag with white crystals and a little bottle similar to the one we found. Good thing the cops were on her heals all the way or it would have been impossible as evidence, or not. Seems the blond is a special agent from the FBI, Hagen or so."

At the beginning of Andy's story Eliot was still more interested in his breakfast then in any silly stuff going on on another boat but when the story started to get weird with the hair sniffing and the more then inappropriate comments he starts to pay attention at adorable he tenses and with the name Hagen he is out of his seat as a flash and on his way to the bridge where Johnathan is now chatting with Sig Hansen about weird blonds and other annoying officials who think they have the right to do things on your boat as if they own it and not you.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Without so much as a by your leave Eliot grabs the microphone out of Johnathan's hand with his left hand and growls out his main question to Sig, while at the same time pinning Johnathan to his chair with his right hand without even really thinking about it.

"Sig, is there a tall dark skinned guy with this agent Hagen?"

Johnathan is cursing up or is trying to curs up a rather muted storm on the background. He isn't happy about any of it but it is impossible to curse in earnest when you have a big hand blocking your airway for about seventy five percent, give or take a few percent. Sig by now is so used to weird things happening on the Time Bandit that he grumbles out an answer anyway. "Yeah name of Pardinson or so, really tall guy, he's a regular motor mouth, constantly spitting out statistics and weird geek references. But according to the DC troubleshooters, and we have all known those two for the past eight years now so they are okay, he is also a real computer wizard and one of the good guys."

"Great thanks, now are there any other strange new arrivals in town? Like a fifty something guy with pathetic hair, or a stunning brunette with legs that go on forever?"

"Nope haven't heard or seen anybody like that. And the brunette sounds like she would make a stir."

"Thanks Sig." And with that Eliot hangs up the microphone effectively shutting off communication. Running his now free left hand thru his hair he finally realizes what he is doing to Johnathan with his right hand, so he lets him go and takes a step back looking just a tad apologetic.

"Whoops. Sorry about that John, but I really needed to know this, those two idiots are friends of mine and I think, no I know they are in trouble. Do you know if the other boats with camera crews are heading in? Those two are smart but they don't fight. That's my job, or okay Parker can fight and she just loves her taser, but still the two of them are no match to more than three tugs. And if Nate and Sophie aren't around they have probably bitten off more than they can chew. The idiots."

All of a sudden things start making sense to Johnathan, he knew it. No way that Mac was just a washed out baseball player, no he is some sort of highly trained special agent from the CIA of FBI or DEA or one of those other alphabet soup agencies. How do they call those guys in the movies, a cleaner or a wetman. Creepy but it explains pretty much everything.

"Yeah they are, the Northwestern is already in, the others are on their way and expected sometime tomorrow night. Why?"

Seeing his greenhorn go from just his normal grumpy state to downright pissed off and dangerous is a scary experience. Seems Mac's freak out when he saw Frankie trying to drug Josh wasn't the real freak out, this is much more impressive. Especially since it is so instantaneous, just a little shift and Mac went from somewhat relaxed to tense like a over wrung spring.

"We also need to get there. Because those two might be able to handle one or two fighters but no more. And there might be one or two of those bastards on every boat. How fast can we get in? I will pay for the damages and missed income."

Grinning from ear to ear John is liking this cloak and dagger thing. "Never mind that, we're almost full anyway. We can beat most of them no problem. And getting that weasely Frankie out of Travis his cabin is an added bonus. Travis might just be willing to share the cost with you."

So the last string is left to soak a bit longer as the Time Bandit sets course for Dutch Harbor at maximum speed.

"Mac, want to be the good guy? Go tell the rest that they can go back to bed, no hauling pots today but a nice long steam to shore. Cleanup can wait for a couple of hours. Go, Get."

Looking as pleased as he can while still radiating menace Eliot skips down the stairs from the wheelhouse to give the good news. And it works, for about three minutes he is the most popular person on board. By then everybody is back in their bunks and fast asleep for at least three more hours.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33.

Frustration, that's the word. Hardison is buzzing with frustration. Nothing is going the way it should.

Dinner was all fish, and more fish oh and not forget crab. Sure he likes seafood, but not as entree, main course and dessert. Dessert should be sweet and look like sweet. Not a pudding shaped as an octopus.

The brunet isn't showing up on any of his footage, and this Thom Beers has a way to sophisticated security system for a "normal" TV producing office. Hacking into the FBI was easier, a lot easier.

With his fingers flying over the keys Hardison sits hunched over his laptop staring at the screen trying to get the thing to do what he wants. He hasn't been on world of warcraft for three days and tonight it isn't going to happen either. Instead of his normal six huge flat screen TV's to play with he now had to make do with one tiny laptop screen. Not an ideal situation but he could manage that, he worked with just a laptop when he started out as well, or in Lucile. The lousy internet was a bigger problem and he could only commandeer a satellite for a limited amount of time or the real owners would get cranky. And cranky south Koreans or Russians, yeah been there done that.

"Danny is the bear in the relationship." Came out of nowhere behind his right shoulder.

Suddenly sitting up straight with his eyes almost popping out of his head Hardison was already cursing himself and his curiosity but he just had to know.

"What are you talking about, the bear?"

Sitting down on the table next to the laptop, swinging her legs and to the world looking more like a very self satisfied five year old with a new popsicle then the world greatest thief Parker explained.

" Well you said Steve and Danny where lovers. And that you wondered who is the girl in the relationship. Well Danny is the bear. He is very hairy. Lots of hair on his chest, back, legs, even his shoulders. " That last bit with a bit of a shudder and her signature yukkie face. "Steve is smooth but he has tattoo's, do those count?"

"How, What, Where did you see that?"

"Danny was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower and Steve joined him." Is Parker innocent sounding reply. But her ear to ear grin is giving it the lie. " I know now that they were having sex's so you don't have to explain that part. Only the glass wall in the shower steamed up real fast, so I couldn't tell who was on top. Is there a top if two guys have sex in the shower standing up?"

Jumping up and down in his spot, the room was too small to start pacing, Hardison is now scream whispering. Very thin walls and angry scary fishermen neighbors don't mix.

"What the Hell, why where you in their bathroom, I know I have explained it before, more than once even, you're not supposed to do that, embarrassing remember, shame? The not getting naked in front of others thingy."

Parker clearly isn't getting it. "But I wasn't naked, they were, and they never knew I was there anyway."

"Not helping Parker not helping at all. No getting naked in front of people who are dressed, and no watching other people getting naked while you are dressed. okay?"

"So." Parker is grinning like a maniac and Hardison is properly freaking out. "If I had gotten naked as well, watching Danny and Steve making love in the shower would have been okay?"

"NO Parker NO, NOT Okay. Getting naked is only okay in front of a doctor if he or she needs to do an examination or with your own lover." And that would be me, hopefully someday. Hardison added mentally to that sentence. "Now you're just a voyeur. A very creepy person who gets off on watching others. Uch I really don't like you right now." And with that Hardison turns back to his laptop and starts working away to get into Thom Beers calendar to check who he had appointments with on the day of the presentation from hell. Maybe the leggy brunette has a name. Or if he can find a timeframe Nate of Sophie can get it from the local security camera's. Totally ignoring his now confused maybe girlfriend.

Parker really didn't get it. He wanted to know, so she went and found out, and now he was mad because she crawled into the vents to find out? The embarrassment thing? Again? She really needed to talk to Sophie about that one. Because she clearly still didn't get it. She really thought she did last time Hardison and she had that talk but clearly not. Taking her phone and coat she went for a nice relaxing climb to the roof to talk to Sophie. Sophie would get it and explain it to her. Because that's what Sophie did.


	34. Chapter 34

_Very nice long chapter, so I hope my muse has come out of hiding and decided to play again. But can't make any promises._

Chapter 34.

"Wakie, wakie guys. We are one hour outside of Dutch, time to batten down the hatches and get ready to party." Johnathan was pretty happy to hit town. The rest of the crew less so. Grumbling the deckhands invaded the galley where an equally grumpy Neal was frying up eggs and bacon by the dozen. Only upside of having a long trip cut short and not running into the Northwestern. There still were plenty of eggs.

Andy grabbed his breakfast and went upstairs to relieve Johnathan. Settling in the second chair Andy took some time to just stare outside to the grey sea that went seamlessly over into an steel grey sky. Talk about fifty shades of grey. Only over here the sea was the dominant partner. And surrendering without a fight wasn't an option.

"So? Now what?" Was Andy's question. "So now we dock next to the Wizard until the Cape Caution has unloaded, we are next up, but the Cape has only just started unloading so that is going to take about twelve hours. Time to Party. Whoot Whoot." Johnathan seems to be happy to be in town again completely forgetting the reason for heading in early for just a second. "Oh, and check in on Jake Anderson of course, and find those two friends Mac's been worrying about."

"Fine, now get down and eat. Help the guys tie up when we're in, and make sure they clean up the galley a bit. And take this with you." With that Andy pushed his empty plate in Johnathan's hands and settled in the captains chair.

One hour isn't very long to eat breakfast, clean and get the deck ready for unloading. So before Eliot even realized the Time Bandit was snug next to the Wizard and the rest of his crew was off to drop off a cameraman at the local police station, get supplies, drinks and good times. As greenhorn it was his duty to stay on board with a cell phone and Johnathan's number on speed dial. And the instructions to call the minute the boat unloading was done and getting ready to leave.

After waving his friends off and watching them pile into one of the many cars that seem to be parked all over the docks at all times Eliot is just on his way to the wheel house to get comfortable when he notices he has uninvited company. Four of them even. Two he recognized from a night spend drinking before finding himself on the wrong boat. The other two he doesn't know, but that doesn't really matter. The fact that the four guys are wearing similar hoodies and are on his boat is enough.

Grabbing the hook he starts swinging it in easy circles while slowly making his way to the high rail and his visitors.

"So fair warning, you 'all have about five seconds to leave, after that it is going to hurt. BAD." Finally some action, Eliot can't help grinning his predatory grin. How he missed this. And he wanted to try this hook thingy as a weapon. Seems now he gets his chance.

Only the fight is hardly a fight. The idiots clearly have no experience at all. Instead of going at him all four at the same time from different direction's the idiots go in one at a time the first two full of spunk but no science. The third already shows more caution and almost manages to grab the hook. Only that thing has sharp points. So one hard pull is enough to lodge the thing in or thru his hand. Leaving him crying like a baby. The fourth decides to run for safety, scrambling over the rail onto the Wizard in the direction of a disgustingly strong menthol cigarette smell, only to get tossed back by a far more interesting fifth fighter.

Now we are talking, she, yes it is a she. "Well hello darl'ng, and who might you be?" is Eliot's opening line, because hot dam this is a real chick the way he likes them. Legs that go on forever and ever in skintight black rubber looking pants and black biker boots with steel toes. On top of that an also tight fitting black, short zip up coat with the same rubbery look and even in this pretty thick material it is clear the chick has muscle. And as icing on the cake platinum blond spiky hair, lots of black eye shadow and blood red lipstick in a pale but perfect face.

"Well Hello there handsome, I'm Charlie, and I'm almost sorry to remodel your pretty face."

And with a cat like grace Charlie lands on deck, sure there is clear thump, but then she isn't Parker. Slowly the two fighters circle each other sizing up the competition and it seems Charlie is a talker. "I'm glad to finally meet you, I was almost afraid that I had missed my chance when you dropped off the radar a couple of years ago."

"I'm flattered, didn't realize anybody noticed?"

"Sure we did, somebody like you? Then Quin showed up and bragged about going a round against you. According to him you lost."

"Not really, and we had a nice long talk since then." Eliot is still twirling his hook. A beautiful weapon of mass destruction as far as he is concerned.

"Glad to hear it. But what are we waiting for? The bell for the first round?"

"Not really, but shouldn't we take this on land, so we don't stumble over you're guys?" Eliot doesn't really mind but hey why step on a guy who is already down.

"Those are not my guy's. I work alone. So I really couldn't care less." Is Charlie's callous reply.

" Works for me, then I'm just waiting for you, I don't hit women unless they hit me first."

"Well I be darned, a real southern gentleman." is Charlie's response while taking a flying leap at Eliot grabbing him by the neck with her full weight behind it. Both go over the rail into the freezing water of Dutch Harbor.

Not quite sure what hit harder, Charlie's fist in his gut or the cold water, Eliot struggles to get up for air only to be pulled down again by Charlie. Charlie is clearly better prepared for a water fight in her skintight dry suit. She also knows how to use those metal spikes on her shoes. Eliot knows he is bleeding but he can't really feel it. The cold is so much worse.

-Flash back-flash back-flash back-flash back-

Same fortress as before still only one cage with something in it. A heap of snow covered Eliot lies on the bottom of the cage. Two guards are making their way over. Complaining to each other over the unfair way things are arranged in the world.

"Go get the stupid American. Go make him disappear. But the sergeant has his shoes. The lieutenant has his nice warm water proof coat. What are we to get, a piss stained pair of pants and a stinking sweater with blood and puke on it." The other one doesn't say much, he is more the quite type.

Reaching the wall the quite one starts to crank up the cage with the old pulley system. Slowly and creaking the cage goes up and the complainer takes a better look at what is in the cage.

"So, do you think he is really dead? He did put up a fight before. And he is a wily one." The silent one just shrugs and gives the talker a snowball.

"Yeah, good idea." The talker throws the snowball at Eliot who doesn't even flinch. His eyes are closed snowflakes clinging to his eyelashes.

The talker gets brave and opens the cage and reaches in to get the frozen corps out. Or so he thinks. Before he knows it he is falling. Eliot pulled him between the cage and the wall. While the talker is sailing down Eliot jumps onto the wall and knocks down the silent one. Eliot steals his coat, sweater, socks and shoes. Sure it is all too small but everything is better than what he has. And he did lose a lot of weight. The pants might even fit.

After stuffing the quite guard in to the cage and lowering it again Eliot makes his way down into the fortress. After a few tries he finds a back way out and now the four to five day trek to safety starts. But he is still alive.

-End flash back-end flash back-end flash back-end flash back-

Unable to really see anything in the dark murky water, or even able to know up from down Eliot kicks up his knee in what he thinks is the direction of Charlie's face only to feel it hit a hard metal object. But it was a good enough hit because Charlie lets go of his waist and a string of small air bubble's stream past Eliot's face. Down to his orientation but all he can think of is to follow the bubbles, up, up to the surface and air. Clean cold oxygen loaded air.

Gulping big breaths of air while clinging to the hull of the Time Bandit takes all his energy when all of a sudden he goes down again. Only this time his mark is clear. Charlie has her hands on his shoulders and is pushing him down with all her weight. Letting himself sink like a stone Eliot pushes off the hull unbalancing Charlie and hitting her in her stomach with his head. As a result her head slams into the enforced metal hull with a bang hard enough to knock her out.

Coming up for air for the second time Eliot starts to feel the bitter cold seeping into his muscle's. while he slowly swims along the Time Bandit on his way to the quay, while dragging the unconscious Charlie with him he feels his energy waning fast. Too fast to make it to safety, even if he were to let go of the dead weight that Charlie is, when all of a sudden a rope with a sling lands right next to his head.

"Eliot, get in. We're going to pull you up." a creepily familiar voice yells from above his head. Parker, thank god.

Getting his right arm and his head into the sling is easy, holding on to Charlie with his left he signals to Parker that he is ready but that wasn't necessary. The rope is already being pulled up by the crane on the Time Bandit deck. Mike helps him over the rail with an anxious Parker hovering nearby not sure what to do.

Without ceremony or even a by your leave Mike pushes Hardison and Parker to the side and scoops the shivering Eliot from deck, carrying him bridal style into the galley. Leaving Charlie for the others to get inside, or not. Mike isn't really all that interested in the bitch who tried to kill his buddy. No matter that Eliot isn't who he said he was.

Hardison and Parker followed the blond giant that was walking off with their hitter, no way that they were going to lose Eliot from sight again, not after this fight or any other fight ever again.

Inside Josh is already in full blown mother hen mode, waiting with towels blankets and getting water heated up. But first things first. Eliot has to strip out of all that freezing cold wet gear to get dry and warm.

Getting a sharp but easy to handle knife Josh cut Eliot's coat and sweater from waist to neck so he and Mike could get it off of Eliot without moving him too much. Only Mike suddenly realizes that the bouncy blond that had dragged them back to the boat is sitting cross legged on the table watching all that was going on with a unblinking stare.

" Do you mind? Giving us some privacy?"

Clearly confused Parker turns to Hardison. "Hardison, Eliot has seen me naked before and I have seen him nearly naked as well, why should I leave this time? That shame thing again?"

"Yeah Parker, same thing again. So close your eyes." is all a embarrassed Hardison manages to say. Putting her hands before her eyes Parker keeps mumbling in a clearly heard sad sounding stage whisper. "I'll never get it, it isn't the same, even Sophie wanted to know anyway. Only Hardison has that stupid shame thingy going on."

With chattering teeth Eliot comes to Parker's rescue. "It's okay Darling, you can watch, I d d don't mind." At that Parker turns around with a beaming smile. And starts poking at the fast developing bruise over Eliot's right eye. "that's the Sparky I know and love. Now get ready we're going back to LA to get this Beers guy who did this to you. Hardison get that woman and get us a flight out of here."


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

"Whaa? What do I look like to you? You're personal travel agency? Or a golden retriever? Go get Eliot. Go get the freaky looking female fighter. Go get a private flight from Dutch harbor? Go get…" The rant got cut off when the door slammed closed behind the angry muttering Hardison. Resulting in a big slightly manic grin on Parker's face and a shaky one from Eliot, the others were looking dumbfounded for a few seconds, then all hell broke loose.

"What the fuck does he mean, female fighter? How did the two of you end up in the water? Why is your back covered in puncture marks? Who are these two idiots and how did they know you were in danger? Who are the other idiots on deck?"

A barrage of questions all directed at the still shivering Eliot. Only he isn't really paying attention, he is way too busy with Parker and her wickedly poking fingers. Because Parker, for some strange reason all of her own, finds the befor mentioned puncture marks on his back fascinating and is trying to avoid his slapping hands to at poke them.

But before he can answer a single question or really get away from Parker's poking Hardison shows up back inside followed by Hawaiian looking guy who is carrying a spluttering Charlie flung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

All of a sudden the mood goes from accusatory to celebration with smiles all around.

"Eddie! Great to see you man. How did Eric treat you?" Now the questions are for the long lost Eddie. The prodigal son coming back from the dead, or close to it, living on another boat for a trip.

"I'm fine, just fine. But you." Pointing an accusing finger in the direction of Johnathan "Have a mess on deck. And I am not the only one doing clean up." And with that Eddie throws a growling Charlie on the bench opposite Eliot. Her hands, thumbs and feet tied by zip ties in different colors. Seems Hardison came prepared with a bag full and he did learn something from hanging out with Eliot and Parker.

Soon after the other four amateur fighters are also lined up inside with their hands zip tied behind their back with just a single zip tie. Everybody agreeing that they aren't the dangerous ones who could handle the pain of breaking a single zip tie.

The police is on the way after a quick phone call about the breaking and entering on the Time Bandit to collect the four amateurs. Not Charlie, she is going along to LA as leverage and it goes against Eliot's code of honor to surrender a fellow hitter to the police. Sure it seems she doesn't know anymore then that she is working for a Delores Malaguff. She has been working for Delores for a few years now, on and off. Yes Delores is a leggy redhead. And Delores gave her a bad quality picture of Eliot two weeks ago with the order to take the guy out. It was clear to Charlie that Delores didn't even knowing who Eliot really was. And she didn't warn Delores that Eliot was known to be a whole lot more dangerous then you're average crab fisherman or retired baseball player in her eagerness to proof to the Hitters world that she was the one to take out the famous or infamous Eliot Spenser.

Even if Eliot was really retired as hitter and retrieval specialist and gone into crabbing ( weird job choice by the way). She would still be the one to take out Eliot. That was her ticket out of Delores employ and more lucrative jobs.


End file.
